On Saturday night, Lifetime premiered their movie Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret. I can’t help but wonder if Jodi Arias had loftier Hollywood expectations when she pictured her story being made into a movie.
Perhaps she imagined Angelina Jolie playing her on the big screen. She’d come visit Jodi in prison to research the role and they would compare knife collections. They’d bond as they discussed which blade is sharpest if you want to draw your own blood so you can wear it in a vial around your neck or gut your boyfriend.
I bet she imagined a huge, glitzy Hollywood premiere at the Chinese Theater where she would walk the red carpet in her Harry Winston diamond-studded shackles and Chanel orange jumpsuit. She would have Angie and Brad beside her making sure the flashbulbs of the paparazzi didn’t blind her and make her trip as she shuffled into the theater.
Alas, it wasn’t to be. Instead of Angelina, she got some chick named Tania Raymonde to portray her. Instead of a glitzy premiere at the Chinese, she probably traded in some menthols for a stale, day-old eggroll to chow down as she watched her basic cable movie of the week all alone in her cell.
I bet right now Jodi is thinking: “If I had known I was only going to get a crappy Lifetime movie out of it, I never would’ve killed the dude in the first place.” No doubt she has learned a valuable lesson: Before you do the crime, make sure you have a really good agent.