Independence Day: A Therapist’s Secrets

By: Ralph Daily

A therapist of many years, I’m sharing some interesting psychological insights about the Fourth of July holiday. For instance, you might not know it, but. . .

1. Wearing red, white and blue is often a cry for help.

2. Everyone hates parades. They’re just afraid to admit it.

3. Those suffering firefly phobias often respond negatively to fireworks.

4. At a certain point in a woman’s menstrual cycle, fireworks can provoke inappropriate sexual behavior.

5. Around the Fourth of July, people often dream they’re taking High Tea with the Queen.

6. It’s documented that a strong, inverse correlation exists between blindness and firework enjoyment.

7. Symptoms of depression can be temporarily relieved by a good barbecue.

8. After trying to find a decent spot at the fireworks, people with parking issues often end up in psychiatric facilities.

9. Flashers are twice as likely to binge on apple pie than serial killers.

10. Those with paranoid personalities commonly believe that Uncle Sam is a registered pedophile who lives in the house next door.

I hope you’ve found this post informative. Tune in next time, when I explore the relationship between excessive golfing and erectile dysfunction.

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