New Texas Bill Will Allow Abortion Only Before Positive Pregnancy Test

The Texas state legislature, having already passed a ban on abortion after 20 weeks as well as a package of strict regulations which will force almost all of the abortion clinics in the state to shut down, is now considering another bill which might even more severely restrict access to abortion.

The new bill will allow abortion only before a positive pregnancy test. Any abortion after a positive pregnancy test will be illegal under the proposal.

Too late

Bill sponsor Steve Toth:

“I don’t see what the problem is. If you take a pregnancy test and it’s positive, you know there’s a baby in there. Probably masturbating. So that would be killing a baby. So, all you have to do is go in every couple weeks and ask for an abortion. If you’re not pregnant, there’s no problem. If you are pregnant, you get your abortion just like you wanted, slut. As long as the doctor doesn’t perform a pregnancy test first, because then you know…”

To help enforce the restriction, the state will require all pregnancy tests sold in the state to be equipped with wireless internet and GPS technology. Positive tests will be sent to a central whore reporting database where the registered user, test result, and location will be logged on for married women and for unmarried women. Any potential information regarding the father will not be recorded due to privacy concerns. Critics have noted that this will bring the average cost of a pregnancy test from about $7 to about $129.

Senator Wendy Davis has announced that she might attempt to filibuster this bill as she did with the previous one, though added, “What’s the fucking use though, really? We really have no chance. Who voted for all of these assholes? Fuck this place, I’m moving to California.”

Share this Post:

3 thoughts on “New Texas Bill Will Allow Abortion Only Before Positive Pregnancy Test”

  1. Whenever I think Texas conservatives have finally made enough comments that shows the depth of their stupidity, there is always someone else who comes along and shows me how bottomless that hole really is.

Comments are closed.