Custard Pie and Cranky Hippos

South African Dessert

CUSTARD PIE
(melktert)

INGREDIENTS – PASTRY

2 cups flour (1 teaspoon plus 3 tablespoons more later)
1 teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt (¼ teaspoon more later)
½ cup chilled butter (1½ tablespoons more later)
¼ cup water
1 teaspoon flour

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

4 eggs
4 cups milk
1½ tablespoons butter
½ cup sugar (½ cup plus ½ teaspoon more later)
1 cinnamon stick
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons cornflour
2 tablespoons cornstarch
3 tablespoons flour
¼ cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
¼ cup sugar
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
½ teaspoon sugar

SPECIAL UTENSILS

2 9″ pie tins
rolling pin
electric mixer or beater
sonic obliterator

2 hours to make. Well, it should take that long, unless of course, while in the midst of preparation someone drank some of the milk you needed for this recipe, so you rushed to the store to buy milk and just before you got to the checkout stand four people rushed their carts in front of you, and then you got home only to find you had to take your child to sword-swallowing lessons. In this case, preparation will take longer.

PREPARATION – CRUSTS

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Add 2 cups flour, baking powder, an¼ teaspoon salt to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk. Grate ½ cup butter or cut into small pieces. Add grated butter. Use hands to blend grated butter with flour mix. Add water. Use hands to smoosh, a new culinary term, water into butter/flour mix. Form mix into dough ball using hands.(Add additional water as necessary to keep dough ball together.)

Dust rolling pin and surface with 1 teaspoon flour. Split dough ball into two. Roll out each dough ball into circles into a 10″ circle. Place a dough circle into each pie tin. Poke pie crusts a few times with a fork. (This releases excess air.) Bake crusts for 6-to-10 minutes or until they start to turn golden brown. Keep oven at 400 degrees while you prepare filling. (Depending on the number of mixing bowls you have, you might want to clean them as you get the chance.)

PREPARATION – FILLING

Separate eggs. Add egg whites to small bowl. Beat egg whites with electric mixer set on beat until they stiffen. Add egg yolks to another small bowl. Beat yolks with fork.

Add milk to pot. Bring milk to slow boil using medium-high heat. Stir constantly. Add 1½ tablespoons butter, ½ cup sugar, cinnamon stick, and ¼ teaspoon salt. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir as frequently as you can.

Add cornflour, cornstarch, 3 tablespoons flour, and ¼ cup sugar to new mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Add about ¼ of the hot-milk mixture to this bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Add egg yolks. Mix again with whisk. Add vanilla and entire corn flour/flour/sugar/hot-milk contents to simmering pot. Keep pot simmering using low heat for 10 minutes or until mixture thickens. Stir as frequently as you can. Remove from heat and let cool for 15 minutes.

Lower temperature of oven to 375 degrees.. Add egg whites and ¼ cup sugar to pot. Mix with whisk. Pour filling into pie crusts. Bake for 15-to-20 minutes or until filling sets. (A toothpick inserted into the middle should come out clean)

Remove pies from oven. Add ground cinnamon and ½ teaspoon sugar to small bowl. Mix with fork. Sprinkle pie with ground cinnamon/sugar mixture. Let cool for 15 minutes and then chill for 30 minutes in the refrigerator. (Note: some people favor serving this dessert warm. A fierce debate rages.)

Congratulations! You’ve done a lot to make this wonderful dessert for your guests. Relax with a nice, cold root beer or even something stronger. If your guests do not appreciate your heroic efforts, zap them with your sonic obliterator. You don’t need that negativity in your life. ☺

TIDBITS

1) Hippos can get sunburned!

2) No wonder hippos kill people crossing rivers. Sunburns make them cranky. I got a bad sunburn recently. Made me cranky, I can tell you. But I didn’t kill anyone. Yay for me.

3) Hippos need sunscreen. Who would apply the sunscreen to these creatures? Someone brave.

– Chef Paul