How to Waste Time and Burn Poorly Built Bridges

Ok, sometimes I’m an idiot. Sometimes I need to learn a lesson more than once. Sometimes more than twice.

Lesson: “You don’t get something for nothing.” Another way to put it is “You get what you pay for.”

Either way, here is my story:

A few years ago I was approached by what I now know to be a “star fucker”.  His mistake right off the bat was that I am not a star!?! He offered his company’s web/marketing/design/we’ll-do-anything services to me for FREE to redo my website and SEO(The first letter must stand for SCAM, no?). He brought in the company president, a man, who probably said, “Jason is a hottie, yeah, we will do his stuff for FREE!”

I asked, “Why for free? What is in it for you?” They replied that they saw someone in need and wanted to help (For a business like that, Ew….). They would have had better success if they waited a bus station for a young lad, bright eyed and bushy tailed.

I still resisted. I believe in my true altruism and I wanted to believe that this would all work out well.

Well, HA!!!

It took them over 3 months to produce ANY results in which prompted me to ask frankly, “Is the delay because I am getting something for nothing??” They denied and soon got to work on the LEAST CHARISMATIC WEBSITE EVER! They seemed to forget that the key point of an entertainer’s site is to… Entertain.


To-do lists were exchanged. Nothing complicated. They hemmed and hawed and started to tell me how much this was costing THEM (passive aggressive fucks!). They told me that their lawyer advised them not to do this without payment and a contract. I told them to charge me a dollar and make a contract. This had zero impact on the shitty work they would do or not do for me.

They missed two release deadlines and on my SECOND todo list (which had a few wish list items) they wrote back a two word email… WE’RE DONE.

These fuckers blocked me on Twitter. (Are you 12 years old?) Great business model.

If they had thought working with me was high maintenance than they should attempt to work with other entertainers with 10 times the content that I have. Of course, they are used to working with refrigerator companies and the like (this should have been my first clue to run!).


They had an shit attitude and did shit work. Does anyone want to what the name of said company is? I will be more than happy to share that with you. Send me a message.

Lesson learned…again. Finally.

I got my website up and running in days, by myself. It is not perfect but at least it’s done.

Thank you, Humor Outcasts and it’s readers for allowing me to vent.

Peace always (except for this company because they suck),

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2 thoughts on “How to Waste Time and Burn Poorly Built Bridges”

  1. Well you know what they say. If you want something done right you do it yourself. And free is a serious red flag for me, especially with sushi at the grocery store.

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