Toilet Paper: The F-word of Bathroom Tissue | HumorOutcasts

Toilet Paper: The F-word of Bathroom Tissue

April 29, 2014
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photo credit: Kaltduscher via photopin cc<

photo credit: Kaltduscher via photopin cc<

The other day I ran to Target for a few essentials.  I wandered into the section with the bathroom tissue because it was next to the end cap that had a display of wines that were on sale.  I do love a bargain!

I figured I might as well pick up a package of toilet paper while I was there (especially in light of my large purchase of sale wine.)

I scouted the shelves for my favorite bear wiping his a$$ and realized I was in the section entitled “bathroom tissue.”  The words “toilet paper” were nowhere to be found.

What?!

Is “toilet paper” no longer PC?  I realize I’m not often on the forefront of knowing what’s PC, but I think I would have gotten that memo by now.

Perhaps it was written on a roll of toilet paper and I missed it.

Why the change, Charmin? Or Cottonelle? I’m not sure who’s the king of bathroom tissue these days.  I know who the king of my bathroom is, only it’s not a king.  It’s a queen.

photo credit: programwitch via photopin cc

photo credit: programwitch via photopin cc

Regardless of who changed the name, I’d like to know the reasoning behind it.  Was it a movement by the toilet paper companies to make themselves sound less crass?

Or maybe it was a different kind of movement.  (And not a bowel movement.)

Maybe it was a movement by the stores to make their stores look more classy.  Signs for toilet paper don’t look as welcoming as signs for bathroom tissue.  Perhaps it’s just a marketing ploy.  After all, bathroom tissue sounds like something I want to wrap myself in and curl up with a good book (and some wine I got on sale).

Is it really so bad to refer to toilet paper as what it is?  Paper that goes in the toilet?  It’s not crass.  It’s what it is.

I’m not sure what any of this means for the future of a$$ wiping, but I don’t like the direction its going.  It seems to me it’s all going down the drain…

photo credit: C Jill Reed via photopin cc

photo credit: C Jill Reed via photopin cc

Lisa Newlin

Lisa is a humor writer who plays an unconvincing lawyer in year life. She prefers dogs to most people, and food over most everything. Her blog, http://lisanewlin.com will make you feel better about your own life. It will also remind you that vodka is the answer to everything. (Except if the question is "What should I throw on this fire?" Then the answer is definitely NOT vodka.) She is also a co-author of the bestselling humor books, "I Just Want to Be Alone" and "'You've Got Lipstick On Your Teeth,' And Other Things Only Heard From Your Friends In The Powder Room." You should buy them immediately on Amazon.com.

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3 Responses to Toilet Paper: The F-word of Bathroom Tissue

  1. Bill Y Ledden
    April 30, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    The direction of ass wiping has changed and it will never go back to the way it was!

  2. April 30, 2014 at 10:27 am

    The commercials selling “bathroom tissue” are much more like they’re advertising blankets. People are wrapped up in it, smelling it, commenting how soft and adorable it is, kind of like a kitten. You just can’t pull that off calling it toilet paper. They can romanticize anything, can’t they?

  3. April 29, 2014 at 11:15 pm

    oddly enough, I have been called an a$$ wipe. So now I am even more confused. Either way, I also prefer RESTROOM over BATHROOM for my BATHROOM TISSUE.



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