Me: *rotates spreadsheets 90 degrees* The tables have turned! Boss: Do you have any actual data in this presentation? Nope.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 3, 2014
South African Oscar Pistorius says he shot and killed his girlfriend by accident. He’s already been made an honorary resident of Florida.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 3, 2014
“Scooby-Doo” taught a generation of kids that everyone looks like a monster when you ride around in a windowless van doing mushrooms.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 3, 2014
We have freedom of speech in this country. That means I can say whatever I want as long as my wife lets me.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 3, 2014
Oh, you have an ass that won’t quit? I’m sorry to hear about your irritable bowel syndrome.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 3, 2014