4-year-old: What’s hope? Me: The first stage of disappointment.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2014
How women plan a party: 1) Pick a theme 2) Make decorations 3) Cook festive foods How men plan a party: 1) Buy beer 2) Buy more beer
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2014
4-year-old: Why do you wear deodorant? Me: So I don’t stink. 4: Why doesn’t it work?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2014
Me: Only souls go to heaven. 4-year-old: What about the rest of the shoe?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 30, 2014
4-year-old: *watches me finish a run* What were you doing? Me: Running. 4: I thought running was supposed to be fast.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyr8D7T 4/5/14: pic.twitter.com/yjW9Z0Tdsj
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) September 21, 2014