4-year-old: There’s a green monster behind you! Me: I don’t see it 4: He’s invisible Me: How do you know he’s green? 4: I’m a scientist.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 27, 2014
4-year-old: Can I carry the baby down the stairs? Me: No, you’ll drop her. 4: It’s OK. She’ll roll.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 27, 2014
4-year-old: Daddy, can we make a snowman? Me: There’s no snow. 4: Why don’t you love me?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 27, 2014
By: David Wiley 
[Power Wheels Jeep dies] Me: The battery is out of juice. 4-year-old: What kind of juice? Me: 4: Me: Apple.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 27, 2014
Wife: What do you want for dinner? Me: I don’t know. What do you want? [repeats the same question 1000 times] [everyone starves to death]
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 27, 2014