Colombo Powder and Treating Elephant Astronauts Nicely | HumorOutcasts

Colombo Powder and Treating Elephant Astronauts Nicely

February 20, 2015
By

French Guianese Appetizer

COLOMBO POWDER

INGREDIENTS??????????

¾ teaspoon cloves
3½ tablespoons coriander seeds
3½ tablespoons cumin seeds
½ teaspoon fennel seeds
1 tablespoon fenugreek seeds
1½ tablespoons black, brown, or yellow mustard seeds
1 tablespoon peppercorns
3½ tablespoons turmeric
½ teaspoon ground ginger.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder

Makes 1 cup. Takes 15 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add cloves, coriander seeds, cumin seeds, fennel seeds, fenugreek seeds, mustard seeds, and peppercorns to pan. Cook in pan at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until seeds turn golden brown or start to crackle. Stir frequently. Put toasted spice mix in spice grinder. Grind spices into powder.

Add turmeric to pan. Cook on medium heat for 3 minutes or until turmeric turns golden brown. Add turmeric, ginger, and ground spices to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Store spice mix in air-tight jar.

TIDBITS

1) The above photo is right-side up. The powder would still be just as good upside down. The same can’t be said for Pineapple Upside Down Cake. Just try flipping that dessert over to make Pineapple Right Side Up Cake. If lucky, your host would simply show you the door. If unlucky, the cook would atomize you with her sonic obliterator, an essential utensil for all serious chefs.

2) Don’t open your Colombo powder in a weightless environment such as the space shuttle. The stuff would get everywhere. Contact with the astronauts would make them look jaundiced. They would have to be quarantined and an astronaut never forgets. Or is that an elephant? Certainly, an elephant astronaut would never forget. In any case, keep your Colombo powder sealed.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Paul De Lancey

Paul De Lancey writes in multiple genres: adventure, westerns, morality, time travel, thriller, and culinary, all spiced with zaniness. He is a frequent contributor to HumorOutcasts. His novels "Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms?" "Beneficial Murders," "We’re French and You’re Not," and "The Fur West" and his cookbook Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World have won acclaim from award-winning authors. Paul is also the writer of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics. Dr. De Lancey obtained his Doctorate in Economics from the University of Wisconsin. His thesis, “Official Reserve Management and Forecasts of Official Reserves,” disappears from bookstore shelves so quickly that most would-be purchasers can never find it in stock. Paul, known to his friends as Paul, was the proud co-host of the online literary events Bump Off Your Enemies, The Darwin Murders, and Tasteful Murders. He also co-collected, co-edited, and co-published the e-book anthologies resulting from these events. Perhaps Mr. De Lancey will someday become a literary giant without having to die for the title. The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Paul ran for President of the United States in 2012! Woo hoo! On the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Estimates of Bacon & Chocolate’s share of the votes range from 3 to 1.5% of the total. El Candidato also lost a contentious campaign to be El Presidente of Venezuela. In late 2013, Chef Paul participated in the International Bento Competition. The great statesman is again running for president, this time under HumorOutcasts’ sponsorship. Contact Paul before he gets elected to get that ambassadorship to Tahiti you’ve always wanted. Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep. His books are available at: www.lordsoffun.com and amazon.com.

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4 Responses to Colombo Powder and Treating Elephant Astronauts Nicely

  1. February 21, 2015 at 7:34 am

    So I’m a fairly courageous cook, but this concoction sounds like something that might stimulate hair growth on a golfball. How does one use it Paul?

    • February 23, 2015 at 11:39 am

      While regulation don’t forbid it, hairy golfballs don’t go as far or as straight as traditional ones.

  2. February 20, 2015 at 10:07 pm

    So is this Colomobo powder related to Colombo the detective?

    • February 23, 2015 at 11:40 am

      No! This is real Colombo is fictional. And just one more thing, it’s three dimensional rather than two.



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