Golden Rules of Running

  1. Replace running shoes every 400 to 500 miles (or 4-5 years, whichever comes first).
  2. Wait to run for at least 2 hours after eating a meal (otherwise, be sure that you are only 2 minutes from the closest Port-A-Potty).
  3. Cross-training is your friend (cross-dressing, not so much).
  4. Dress like it’s 10 degrees warmer outside (unless it’s already 90 degrees then just stay home).
  5. Don’t eat, drink or wear anything new at a race (unless it’s a new haircut, then it’s OK).
  6. Run at least one 20 miles run before a marathon (then don’t bother entering, I mean what’s the point after that)?
  7. Talking should be easy during daily runs (unless you are alone and just talking to yourself, then other runners think you’re looney).
  8. It takes 7 years to plateau (after that it’s all downhill).
  9. Always run facing traffic (except during an actual race, then it means you’re running in the wrong direction).

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