How To Use #3, Coffee Grinder and Pirates

Dear readers,

Today, you’ll learn how to use your electric coffee grinder. You may have an electric one that looks like this.

Here are the two things you must know if you wish to master the art of grinding coffee.

1) Plug it in. Pretty much every electric gizmo from the coffee grinder to biggest super computers need electricity. There’s really no way around this step.

2)  If your coffee grinder requires two lids, “For the love of God, Montressor,” use both lids. The poor soul who used the grinder in the picture used only one of the lids. You can see the result. He now wanders Skid Row periodically flinging his arms to the sky and muttering, “Why? Why? Why?”

Try these steps and before you know it you’ll be grinding coffee with the best of us. And as always, bon appétit.

 Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef


Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on

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