Oh printer! Oh printer!
You putrid pile of pig pool.
You use up ink. You jam.
You send us into fits.
All I want from a printer is for it to:
Yet it jams until eternity.
The only time it prints is
To spew out that test page
That uses up my ink cartridge.
I grow poor buying ink
While the printer’s makers
Earn enough to appear
On American Greed(tm).
May producers of computer printers
Be sentenced to sixty years of hard labor
Or be eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
I’m reasonable; either will do.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.