Public Service Announcement – Online DMV Tests

Plate tectonics

My friend wanted to take the online DMV test. Her friend said it would be easier than driving to the DMV and taking the written driving test. So she plugged away on her cell phone at home. Off and on. For two days. And got nowhere slowly. The DMV’s test site was glacial when it worked. But mostly the test site stopped her cold, Often and early.

So she thought she’d use the computers at her library. Which was closed today. So we drove for 3o minutes to get to a library that was open. Logging on was a snap on the 13th attempt. She started the test, which stopped. For minutes on end. So. Many. Times. The stock market closed before she finished the test. From pillar to post, the test took her three hours. It took 30 minutes. So in total,  the online test took four hours*, which is officially slower than plate tectonics.

All in all, I have to say, I was unimpressed.

* = You could have six colonoscopies in that time.**

** = To be fair, the online DMV test is discernably more pleasant.

Now you know.


– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.


Check out my novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback

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