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28 Sep, 2026
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“I regularly used to tell people that the fastest way to move up in the government is to just screw up, and the bigger the screwup, the bigger the promotion. Every person implicated in your mistakes has an interest in covering up what they did, so they will promote you. That means the people at the very top are usually the most immoral, unethical people in the entire agency.” – Kash Patel…
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Author: Beth Rubin

Beth began writing funny stories to avoid long division and household chores—and to entertain her friends. She introduced graffiti to the girls’ restroom of Maplewood Junior High and warmed the principal’s bench as a reward for her creativity. When not sneaking smokes in the high school parking lot or bleaching her hair, she worked on the school newspaper and yearbook. Through some unexplained glitch, she went to college and graduated in four years with a useless degree. Moving on, she married and served time at a Washington, D.C. trade association, performing slave labor for a bunch of old Southern white guys. Beth raised her little darlings (now almost as old as she is), while juggling a career in journalism and editing. She gained a following with her family humor column in the ‘80s and covered the D.C. dance scene. (Wait, how did that get in here?). She’s published several travel books, a novel, “Split Ends”; and hundreds of features for print publications and the Web. Working both sides of the aisle, she edits and coaches other writers. Inspired by her first Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop in 2013, she’s blogging like crazy at Beth, Bad and Beyond and writing a book about her eccentric family’s (mis)adventures. She wants to be rich and famous. But she’ll settle for rich. www.bethrubinauthor.com

Save Blessings for Sneezes

March 25, 2015March 25, 2015 Beth Rubin

  “Have a blessed (pronounced blest) day”: the four words I never want to hear from a colleague, car mechanic—or gloved gastroenterologist on removing a 7-foot colonoscope from my caboose. When exactly did, “Have a […]

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3 CommentsEveryday Life, Lifestyleblessings, family, friends, humor, religious, sneezes

What Matters in the Keys

February 9, 2015February 9, 2015 Beth Rubin

Every year in late January my Activity Partner With Privileges and I trade in our matching snow shovels for kayak paddles and drive 1,300 hellish miles to reach heaven in the Florida Keys—the only foreign […]

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3 CommentsEveryday Life, LifestyleBeth Rubin, Crazy Hat Day, eavesdropping, Florida Keys, humor, keys, Toilet paper hat, Winn Dixie

Down With Monday Holidays

October 14, 2014October 14, 2014 Beth Rubin

I’m slogging through the Tuesday after Columbus Day like a drunk after a three-day bender. Yesterday’s government-declared Monday holiday tripped me up once again into believing that yesterday was Sunday redux. I couldn’t understand why […]

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3 CommentsLifestylebirthdays, calendars, Christmas, Columbus Day, humor, July 4th, Monday holidays, Sundays, Thanksgiving, work

SPAM Sandwich

September 8, 2014September 8, 2014 Beth Rubin

Today we have a guest writer. I am trying to open up HO to writers who have helped us out in the past and this talented woman, Beth Rubin, is one of them.  I am […]

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13 CommentsGuest WriterBeth Rubin, email, Girl Scout camp, humor, inbox, messages, money, Nigeria, spam

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Top Posts & Pages

  • “I regularly used to tell people that the fastest way to move up in the government is to just screw up, and the bigger the screwup, the bigger the promotion. Every person implicated in your mistakes has an interest in covering up what they did, so they will promote you. That means the people at the very top are usually the most immoral, unethical people in the entire agency.” - Kash Patel...
    “I regularly used to tell people that the fastest way to move up in the government is to just screw up, and the bigger the screwup, the bigger the promotion. Every person implicated in your mistakes has an interest in covering up what they did, so they will promote you. That means the people at the very top are usually the most immoral, unethical people in the entire agency.” - Kash Patel...
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    “The press hates it when I call President Xi brilliant. Well, he’s a brilliant guy. He controls 1.4 billion people with an iron fist. He’s a brilliant guy whether you like it or not.” - Donald Trump...
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