Author: Kevin Woolery

You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone – A former fat guy looking at his penis after liposuction

I hate random drug tests, I wish they would tell me which one they were testing for, so I could prepare

This homeless guy just sneezed on me on my way into work, I hope I don’t catch alcoholism.

If you’re not sure what the Tea Party’s platform is, you should educate yourself by renting Idiocracy this weekend.

Michelle Bachmann says we should fear the rise of the Soviet Union, as well as the attack of the Gay Bigfoot Monsters.

If you leave a little vial of blood in your front yard in an attempt to catch a vampire, congratulations, you’ve just monster bated.

I’m a firm supporter of marital rights, and equality, but I am slightly traditional as well. I believe that marriage should be between two consenting adults who will eventually hate each others guts.