Author: Kevin Woolery
Mom and Dad
When I was a kid, I used to play chess with my dad, and he would beat me all the time, because he had a bad temper, and he drank too much. My mom just […]
Heaven’s Gate Part 2: The iCult
For those of you who don’t remember the Heaven’s Gate cult, let me refresh your memory. This was a group of religious fanatics led by a man named Marshall Applewhite, or more lovingly referred to […]
My Grandma
Whenever I’m alone with my thoughts, I wonder if my grandma is looking down on me, then I wonder why she likes to watch me take a crap. She was always a little different. I […]
America’s New Favorite Pastime
For at least the past 100 years, baseball has been considered America’s Favorite Pastime, and given that there was no TV or Internet available for most of those 100 years, it makes some amount of […]
A Slightly Less Modest Proposal
I’m tired of all these needy people, always refusing to take responsibility for themselves, and crying at the slightest discomfort. Babies should just grow up already. They’re bald and toothless, anti-social, and they can’t give […]
Politics of Change
Politics are so boring. I think we need to spice things up, and pass into law a WWE style cage match instead of the endless droning that currently happens on the floor of Congress — […]
Trip to Walmart
I went to Walmart a few weeks ago, because they were having a sale on wife beaters. Not actually people who beat wives, even though I’m sure they work there, but white tank tops. They […]
