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Author: Kevin Woolery

Mostly untrue stories, and rants from an aspiring stand-up comedian, and comedy writer. Born, raised, and currently residing in Los Angeles, CA. Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/kdubcomedy

Heroin Addicts

June 11, 2011June 11, 2011 Kevin Woolery

Heroin addicts aren’t good for much, but they’re the ones to ask if you want to find a needle in a haystack.

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Daily Musings / Joke of The Dayaddicts, haystack, heroin, humor, needles

Mom and Dad

June 10, 2011 Kevin Woolery

When I was a kid, I used to play chess with my dad, and he would beat me all the time, because he had a bad temper, and he drank too much. My mom just […]

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2 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Dayadoption, chess, dad, funny, mom, parents

Heaven’s Gate Part 2: The iCult

June 9, 2011January 3, 2012 Kevin Woolery

For those of you who don’t remember the Heaven’s Gate cult, let me refresh your memory. This was a group of religious fanatics led by a man named Marshall Applewhite, or more lovingly referred to […]

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4 CommentsTechnology, Words to Think Uponapple, hale-bop, heavens gate, spaceship, steve jobs, technology

My Grandma

June 7, 2011June 7, 2011 Kevin Woolery

Whenever I’m alone with my thoughts, I wonder if my grandma is looking down on me, then I wonder why she likes to watch me take a crap. She was always a little different. I […]

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5 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Dayantiques, grandma, humor

Grand Canyon

June 7, 2011June 7, 2011 Kevin Woolery

I’ve always loved the Grand Canyon, and I just figured out why. It’s the Earth’s vagina.

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4 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Day

America’s New Favorite Pastime

June 7, 2011January 3, 2012 Kevin Woolery

For at least the past 100 years, baseball has been considered America’s Favorite Pastime, and given that there was no TV or Internet available for most of those 100 years, it makes some amount of […]

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3 CommentsEveryday Life, Lifestyle, Words to Think Uponamerica, americas favorite pastime, baseball, celebrities, gossip, humor, Lindsay Lohan, pasttimes, scandal

Happy Endings

June 5, 2011June 10, 2011 Kevin Woolery

 I’m gonna open a massage parlor called “Happy Endings.” I’ll show Disney movies during your session, followed by a hand job..

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Daily Musings / Joke of The DayDisney, humor, massages

A Slightly Less Modest Proposal

June 5, 2011January 3, 2012 Kevin Woolery

I’m tired of all these needy people, always refusing to take responsibility for themselves, and crying at the slightest discomfort. Babies should just grow up already. They’re bald and toothless, anti-social, and they can’t give […]

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3 CommentsEveryday Lifebabies, funny, humor, Lego, limos, poop

Politics of Change

June 3, 2011January 3, 2012 Kevin Woolery

Politics are so boring. I think we need to spice things up, and pass into law a WWE style cage match instead of the endless droning that currently happens on the floor of Congress — […]

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4 CommentsPoliticsfederal budget, John Boehner, Obama, politics, rush limbaugh, wwe

Trip to Walmart

June 2, 2011January 3, 2012 Kevin Woolery

I went to Walmart a few weeks ago, because they were having a sale on wife beaters. Not actually people who beat wives, even though I’m sure they work there, but white tank tops. They […]

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8 CommentsEveryday Life, Fiction, Lifestylecats, fiction, hoverrounds, humor, shopping, tee shirts, walmart

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