Kevin Woolery – HumorOutcasts.com

02 Oct, 2023

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Finding Jesus

December 20, 2012December 20, 2012 Kevin Woolery

After I paid for my Christmas tree, the guy at the register said I should find Jesus. I tried, but he was busy tying down someone elses tree

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The GOP Investigating Why Mitt Lost

November 8, 2012November 8, 2012 Kevin Woolery

Republicans are speculating as to why Romney lost the election. My theory is that after they counted the votes, he received less than Obama.

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Don’t Go Down There!

October 4, 2012October 4, 2012 Kevin Woolery

My girlfriend wanted me to go down there, if you know what I mean, but screw that, she’s not the only one who’s afraid of the basement.

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Bring Back the 90’s

September 7, 2012September 7, 2012 Kevin Woolery

Ricki Lake, Arsenio Hall, and Bill Clinton are back in the spotlight, which can only mean that my mom’s Beanie Babies are probably worth a fortune.

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The Pitfalls of Nicotine Gum

August 29, 2012August 29, 2012 Kevin Woolery

I started using nicotine gum to quit smoking, and I think it’s working, I can’t get the damn pieces lit, and I keep burning my nose.

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Mitt Hair

August 25, 2012August 25, 2012 Kevin Woolery

So, the RNC is going on whether or not Hurricane Isaac hits. Good thing Mitt’s protected from flying debris by his hair helmet.

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The Secret to Love

August 21, 2012August 21, 2012 Kevin Woolery

I asked my grandpa what the secret was to his long relationship with my grandma, but he didn’t answer because his hearing aid was turned off

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Gravy Bombs

August 14, 2012August 14, 2012 Kevin Woolery

I hope scientists are working on a gravy bomb just in case we ever get into a war with Turkey.

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Bad Career Choice

August 6, 2012 Kevin Woolery

If you can’t tell your ass from a hole in the ground, fence building is probably a bad career choice.

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They Come In Threes

August 2, 2012 Kevin Woolery

First, Vidal Sassoon passed away in May, then Gore Vidal died a couple days ago. If I was Al Gore, I’d be crapping my pants right about now.

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