The iShoe
Isn’t it weird that in Get Smart the cell phone had already been invented and yet they hadn’t managed to invent the touch-tone key pad? That’s like inventing the gas-powered electric car. I’m assuming his shoe was […]
6:00 a.m. Alarm sounds but universe is expanding so hard to hear. Sleep in for a Planck length. Move at the speed of sloth. Reach […]
Have you tried the IKEA meatballs? Pretty good. Assembling them is tricky, and you can’t store anything in them, like clothes or books, but they’re tastier than a bed frame. Even when I accidentally swallowed […]
I slept with a porn star when I was in high school. But instead of paying her to keep quiet, I had to pay her to admit it to my friends, so I could brag […]
I had a brush with death yesterday. He brushed my teeth, which was very nice of him. Told me bad dental hygiene can lead to health problems, and a more permanent visit from him. “I’m […]
The other day I saw a gun carrying another gun for protection. “No one is safe”, said the first gun. It was a smart gun. Knew all of its gun rights. The second gun also […]
I’ve always believed that I could have been as smart as Stephen Hawking if I were him, instead of me. In honour of his life, you won’t hear about his biggest blunder, but you should. […]
I’ve been reading some books on how to rewire my brain. I’m anxious. Can I really trust myself to properly rewire my brain all on my own? Shouldn’t I at least have an electrician’s licence? […]