What we WISH we could say to our kids
Years ago, I had this reckless notion that something was missing in my life which could only be filled by having kids. So we started a family – and got so much more: eight years […]
Author: Tim Jones
Tim Jones is a humor writer based in Seattle and the one person to blame for the humor blog View from the Bleachers. Tim ponders important issues like “are all teenage daughters evil?” and “why does Montana hate me?” and “can your dishwasher destroy your marriage?” Tim’s not afraid to tackle controversial issues. He was the first techno-religion expert to conduct a side-by-side comparison of the iPad and Jesus Christ. From Politics to Parenting to Pop culture, if the subject begins with the letter P, Tim has something profoundly uninformed to say about it.
A Survival Guide for coping with air travel
When Orville Wright first took flight over the beaches of Kitty Hawk, NC in 1903, he couldn’t have imagined that a century later, millions of people the world over would be getting into shouting matches […]
My Weekly Business Report – Retirement Edition
Until this past July, for the previous four decades, I had always worked in business. I was routinely required to submit reports on my progress: Sales forecasts, pipeline analyses, business plans – you name the […]
I just found out I’m related to Jesus – on my mother’s side
Isn’t that just divine? No need to worship me just because it turns out I’m probably a direct descendant of the Son of God. This really won’t change me in any way. I’m still the […]
“Will you take $750 for that 2013 BMW?” – Helping my teenager buy her first car
Recently I helped our younger teenage daughter, Emmy, purchase her first car. She had no idea how much used cars cost. I think she was hoping to afford a slightly used Lexus. What she got […]
WARNING: IMPROPER — USE OF THIS PRODUCT COULD INDICATE YOU’RE AN IDIOT
America is the greatest melting pot on earth, welcoming people of all backgrounds and beliefs. It does not matter if you’re black or white, Christian or Jew, tall or short, young or old, wealthy or […]
Sears’ customer guarantee: Delivery between 1:45 and 3:45pm – NO MATTER WHAT!
[Author’s note: I recently purchased a mattress from Sears. They were supposed to deliver it this past Thursday. But things did not quite go as planned. They sent me a customer feedback survey the following […]
I am not a happy camper
Recently I started worrying that my wife no longer loves me. No, I didn’t catch her with another man. And no, we didn’t have another nasty argument about the proper way to load a dishwasher. […]
The joys and perils of working for my wife
Recently my wife Michele and I started a new chapter in our lives by moving to a lovely, somewhat remote island. We also decided to start working together. We thought, what better way to strengthen […]
Kids, Ask Me About God – By Reverend Tornquist
[Note from the staff at HumorOutcasts: This week, we are privileged to feature a LIVE CHAT with noted Christian evangelist Reverend Norman Tornquist, host of the popular webcast, Kids, Ask Me About God. Tornquist is […]