The continuing saga of Mayor Lund and his Trailer Park
Hello, my name is Mayor Tom Lund, I’m the Mayor for a large trailer park in western PA. Today, as I walked through the streets of the trailer park, I saw graffiti painted on the sidewalks, empty liquor bottles thrown under the shrubs and used condoms hung from the trees like Christmas Lights. That’s when it hit me; these kids around here need some guidance.
Someone has to teach these future political leaders how to not get caught in wrongdoing and how to tell a convincing lie if they do get caught.Think how much different the world would be today if Richard Nixon knew how to lie or if Bill Clinton would have used a humidor to keep his cigars moist rather then using his interns. And what if Anthony Weiner knew how to cover his electronic tracks after cyber sex.
I can teach these young hoodlums how to not get caught with their pants down before, during and after they get elected to public office. I’d be doing the American people a great service, since no one wants to hear about how their tax money is supporting the President’s sex fetish and cigar habit, a Congressman’s porno addiction, a Senator’s sex change operation or any other monkey business going on behind the closed doors of government offices.
For five easy payments of $19.95, I’ll get these hoodlums off the pot-holed filled roads of the trailer park and teach them to lie like a rug, how to hold their liquor, and how to deceive the American people and get a paycheck doing it. As with any school, I will have to have some requirements for the enlistment. I think rule number one will be, you must have a healthy liver “before” enlisting. I think we can come up with some more requirements as we go along.
And in store for lesson number one, will be a lecture on the importance of not leaving tracks on interns dresses, followed by a race to see who can consume the most liquor before passing out. Yes, I might be just what these kids around here need to give them some guidance and a political goal in life. Lets face it, if they enjoy a life of sex, drugs, and alcohol, they may as well get a paycheck doing it!