Dear Arthur:

????????????????????????????We know how much you wanted to share our Fourth of July holiday with us. There is just one thing:

NOBODY INVITED YOU!

We still haven’t completely recovered from the visit your cousin Sandy made back in October, 2012. Thank you for thinking of us, but no thanks.

In other words, go blow yourself out somewhere where nobody lives. We would appreciate that.

Sincerely,

The Entire East Coast of The United States

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8 thoughts on “Dear Arthur:”

    1. I just hope he doesn’t send any of his friends up here later on in the season! 😉

        1. In my old Brooklyn neighborhood the firecrackers could be heard all summer. Then the guy who was supplying them moved away. Blessed peace after that!

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