I like to peruse the international news headlines. Hey, I am not one of those arrogant Americans who thinks if it doesn’t happen on US soil, it’s not important. So, in this spirit, I bring you news from the
Wait, you haven’t heard of this festival? Well, allow me to acquaint you with the most important part of this event which pays homage to an insect that the rest of the world views as dangerous, poisonous and for lack of a better scientific term—icky. Get ready for The Most Delicious Girl Contest.
Yes, the girls get eaten—by the bugs. This is how the contest goes. Females in shorts or somewhat revealing clothing compete to see who can receive the most love bites from the mosquitos. The reigning queen from the 2015 festival racked up a whopping 100 welts. The judges who usually include a doctor—because you know—that makes everything legit and safe—award the winner a crown. You would think she would get money or some kind of anti-viral drug treatment for putting herself through this, but I guess the title is its own best reward.
Growing in popularity, 3,000 people attended last summer’s event. And for those who didn’t take home the winning prize for most bug bites, the festival also offered the “Mosquito Legs” contest which awarded women who possess the skinniest of legs some trinket for their malnourished bodies. While I’m not trying to be the feminist of all feminists, I have to say that from an outsider and pro-mosquito repellant point of view, men in this region might have a teensy problem with the female sex.
The journalist in me is intrigued by this contest and festival—not enough to personally attend the next festival mind you—but intrigued. In the spirit of a hands-across-the-sea type thing, I tried to learn about the people of this region and what makes them host such a painful and maybe life-threatening event. After much research, I offer these conclusions:
- Russian Roulette has somehow lost its suspense-filled edge for these people
- The US should probably reconsider with whom they share the space station
- Russians have way too much access to vodka
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