It’s way too hot to use the oven or stove today. So, as part of my errands I went to the supermarket for ingredients to make banana splits. My family has been looking forward to having them today. Banana splits are heaven.
Then avoidable tragedy struck. I forgot to get hot fudge sauce at the store. I know! The horror! You can’t have a banana split without hot fudge sauce.
I don’t have all the ingredients to make hot fudge sauce. I don’t want to go out to a peoply supermarket a second time. Number One Wife is busy. Number Two Son is studying. He says he’ll bring home some hot fudge when he finishes.
Meanwhile, minute after minute goes by and no banana split. People are getting as tense as when they’re about to stick a knife into one of those cardboard cyclinders of premade cookie dough.
Update: no hot fudge sauce. People get surlier and surlier. The spirit of Marie Antoinette visits me. She’s beside herself. She says, “The continued absence of banana splits prompted the French Revolution.”
And still no hot fudge sauce for the banana splits. I shall be barricading myself in my office soon. Wish me luck.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.