Meeting, the Enemy
Meetings are the cold, muck-filled trenches in which turf wars are fought. They are the Texas Death Matches of the business world. They are corporate roller derbies. People just trying to skate by spin their […]
Author: Bill Spencer
Bill Spencer is author of the book Uranus Is Always Funny: Short Essays to Make You Laugh (Humor Outcasts Press 2020). His humor writing has been published by Funny Times, Narrative magazine, Reader's Digest, The Sun, The Inconsequential, Clever magazine, Defenestration, The Short Humour Site, Hobo Pancakes, and Nuthouse. He has also published scholarly articles on the novels of Cormac McCarthy and is co-author of an unproduced screenplay, "Angel Pays a Visit." He lives in a cabin in the mountains of North Carolina with his wife, artist-poet Carolyn Elkins.
Insider Art
(This poem previously appeared in Defenestration.) Insider Art “American Student Rescued after Getting Stuck in Giant Vagina Sculpture in Germany.” New York Daily News, June 23, 2014 Twenty-two firefighters labored to deliver you, yours a […]
Life in the Woods
Partly influenced, I’m guessing, by Thoreau’s Walden—nine years ago my bride and I moved to the mountain woods of North Carolina. We, too, “wished to live deliberately.” In my own experiment I’ve discovered that “life […]
The Anecdotes Not Taken
According to their website, Reader’s Digest prints only about 250 of the 250,000 humor submissions they receive each year. Below are items I submitted that were among the 249,750 not taken. INTRODUCTION I have a […]
My Father’s Sense of Humor
When my wife tells me, “You’re not as funny as you think,” I freely own up to my failings and admit, “That’s my dad’s fault.” Yes, the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree, so […]
Any Pet in a Storm
When my stepson’s cat, Pishi (Farsi for “Kitty,” pronounced PEE-shee), came to live with us for a year, she didn’t warm to me right away. Early on, when I tried to pet her, she bit […]
Nobody Knows the Trebles I’ve Seen
f (forte) I’m not one to toot my own horn, but when I started playing trumpet at the age of seventeen without any previous musical background whatsoever, many people told me they expected me to […]
Indoor Skydiving on My Honeymoon
I went indoor skydiving on my honeymoon. I mean that literally, not figuratively. If you’re for unique ideas for your honeymoon, take a look at Jettly to see if you could hire a private jet […]
A Mother’s High-Calorie Love
My mother equated food with love and food that she cooked for her children with mother’s love. The more food, the more calories, the more trouble, the more time involved, the more pans used, the […]
Coffin Shoppin’
Coffin shoppin’ is a grave undertaking. It can be confusing and inconvenient even though there’s never so far been even one complaint from an end-consumer. My fervent hope is that one day every mall will […]