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02 Jun, 2026
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Author: John Rolfe

A man of letters — mainly I, O and U — my work has appeared in the USA Today Network since 2000. I'm the author of "The Goose in the Bathroom: Stirring Tales of Family Life" and proprietor of Celestialchuckle.com, home of my blog "Hellions, Mayhem & Brake Failure: My Life as a School Bus Driver."

The Thermos That Ate Red Hook

October 29, 2020 John Rolfe

The following humble submission is for the Humor Meets Horror extravaganza that Russian intelligence sources told me this site is conducting. Thank you. This tale is based on a true story of the kind only family […]

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2 CommentsFictionfamily humor, funny horror stories, messy kids, monsters

Dearth of a Salesman

September 30, 2020September 30, 2020 John Rolfe

There’s a lot to be said for being coerced by one’s children into peddling foodstuffs, gewgaws, and other flotsam on behalf of any and all organizations with which said child has come into contact. A […]

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1 CommentEveryday Lifefamily humor, funny parenting stories, selling candy, selling candy at the office

The Postal Service & The Federal Misery Mandate

August 24, 2020August 24, 2020 John Rolfe

I confess that I’m one of those poor deluded fools who clings to the quaint notion that government should serve the public and possibly even make our lives easier. Alas, the government serves to relieve […]

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Everyday Life, Politicspostal service, Trump and the mail

Job’s Hamster

August 5, 2020 John Rolfe

Behold the olde saw in The Tool Shed of Life: A person often resembles his pet. After many nights of restless torment and aggravated regret, I can add with deathly certainty: A person’s life often […]

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Everyday Lifefamily life, hamsters, pet funerals, pet humor

The Tale of the Dreaded Can of Apricots

June 8, 2020 John Rolfe

Need a scary story to tell around the campfire? Here’s one: In the long history of dessert, there has never been a menace as sinister as The Dreaded Can of Apricots. This foul fiend was […]

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Everyday Life#HumorOutcasts, family humor, Goose in the Bathroom, horror story, Humor Outcasts, parenting humor

The Writing’s On the Wall

May 5, 2020 John Rolfe

If you were a betting man — and I can see by your Tommy Hilfiger suspenders and oaken barrel that you are — I would heartily urge you to take the following to the bank: […]

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1 CommentLifestyle, Relationships#HumorOutcasts, funny stories, humor, marital relations, married humor

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