Unicorn Bites #529
Me: *unloads the groceries* 4-year-old: You forgot to buy cookies. Me: I didn’t want to buy cookies. 4: Now she knows monsters are real. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 14, 2014 Me: Every single one […]
Me: *unloads the groceries* 4-year-old: You forgot to buy cookies. Me: I didn’t want to buy cookies. 4: Now she knows monsters are real. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 14, 2014 Me: Every single one […]
If murder deserves a punishment, then not committing it deserves a reward. I should get a parade for all the stupid people I spared today. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 17, 2014 Nothing says “denial” […]
Each year on my daughter’s birthday, which is today, I post one of my earlier columns from when she was young. This one ran in First Magazine. Happy Birthday, Coleen Noel. Recently, I got into […]
I returned home from the grocery store and was surprised that my 80-pound German Shepherd, Miss Muffie, did not greet me at the door in her usual, frantic fashion. I called out to her. But […]