Love in the Time of Puberty
When I was in the ninth grade, two of my classmates got into a shoving-then-wrestling fight. Surprising because we were in a classroom at the time. In a Catholic high school. Right before Religion class. […]
When I was in the ninth grade, two of my classmates got into a shoving-then-wrestling fight. Surprising because we were in a classroom at the time. In a Catholic high school. Right before Religion class. […]
During the 10 years or so that ratemyprofessors.com existed and that I was still teaching college English, not even one student reviewer ever awarded me a chili pepper icon indicating that she (or he) thought […]
When your twin sister calls you to help get rid of a gang of 9-12 smell-raising skunks living under her porch, you go—so my wife went out to Nogal, New Mexico. I call them a […]
(Note: This piece contains “adult” language. If you’re squeamish about vulgarity, better skip this one.) Before Cormac McCarthy won a National Book Award or a Pulitzer Prize, before No Country for Old Men won an […]
My ninth-grade English teacher was named Sister Mary Barbara, but for purposes of anonymity, I’ll call her Sister Mary Barbarian. She was the toughest, strictest, unyieldingest teacher I ever had—a member of the order the […]
Meetings are the cold, muck-filled trenches in which turf wars are fought. They are the Texas Death Matches of the business world. They are corporate roller derbies. People just trying to skate by spin their […]
(This poem previously appeared in Defenestration.) Insider Art “American Student Rescued after Getting Stuck in Giant Vagina Sculpture in Germany.” New York Daily News, June 23, 2014 Twenty-two firefighters labored to deliver you, yours a […]
According to their website, Reader’s Digest prints only about 250 of the 250,000 humor submissions they receive each year. Below are items I submitted that were among the 249,750 not taken. INTRODUCTION I have a […]
When my wife tells me, “You’re not as funny as you think,” I freely own up to my failings and admit, “That’s my dad’s fault.” Yes, the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree, so […]
When my stepson’s cat, Pishi (Farsi for “Kitty,” pronounced PEE-shee), came to live with us for a year, she didn’t warm to me right away. Early on, when I tried to pet her, she bit […]