The Day Jane Fell Out of Her Chair | HumorOutcasts

The Day Jane Fell Out of Her Chair

April 17, 2011
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My friend, Jane, walked into the doctor’s office.  When the doctor walked in, he greeted his old friend, “Hello, Jane.  How are you doing today?”

“Well, I’ve been better,” Jane said.

“What’s wrong?  I noticed you’ve got a bandage on your hand.”

“That’s where I stuck the pencil in my hand,” Jane said as she unwrapped the gauze from her hand.

“How in the world did you do that, Jane?”

“I grabbed it as I was falling out of my office chair and jammed my hand down on it as I was going down.”

“Well, this doesn’t look too bad.  Let me get some antiseptic and pour on it, and we’ll fix you right up.  I don’t think you need any stitches.”  The doctor went over to the cabinet and grabbed the necessary bandages and medication.

“While you’re over there, could you get some for this place on my leg, too?”  Janet pulled up her pants to reveal a long scratch down the calf of her leg.

“My gosh, girl, how did that happen?  Did the pencil do that?”

“Not exactly.  That’s where I landed on the cat, and it scared her so bad she went kind of crazy and started clawing everything in sight including my leg.”

Grabbing another towel, the doctor finished the bandage on Jane’s hand and started treating her leg.  “I don’t think this is too bad, but maybe we need to give you an antibiotic shot just to be on the safe side.”

“Okay,” said Jane.  “You might want to look at this toe on the right foot, too, because I think it may be broken.”  She pulled off her shoe revealing a blackened toenail on her big toe.

“Good grief, Jane, you hurt your toe, too.  How did that happen?”

“After I fell, I was reaching to pull myself up on the desk and accidentally pulled my calculator off, and as luck would have it, it landed right on that toe.”

“It’s a wonder you made it in here to the office.  You say you did all this just by falling out of your chair?”

“Yeah, that was pretty much how it started, and it just went downhill from there.”

“Well, what caused you fall out of your chair to begin with?”  The doctor was fascinated that anyone could do so much damage by such a minor accident.

“Mostly, it was my sister’s fault.”

“Why do you say that?  Did she push you?”

“No, she wasn’t even there.  We were talking on the phone, and she was telling me she just won the lottery, and she was giving me half the money.  I got so excited I jumped up out of my chair and was screaming and hollering, and that’s when she told me it was a joke, and she started laughing.  I got so flustered and agitated at her that when I went to sit back down, I hit the edge of the chair and turned it over on me.”

“Well, I can see where you might have gotten excited, but I don’t really think your sister’s to blame for your accident.  Sometimes bad things just happen.”

“I told her the same thing, Doc, and that’s why she’s sitting out there in the waiting room right now where I accidentally ran over her foot with my car.”

Pattie Byrd

Pattie Byrd is a freelance writer specializing in humor commentary, although she also writes reviews, stories and news articles. She has been published in "Mississippi", "Southern Destinations" and other assorted magazines. Currently, she publishes on several internet sites including Yahoo, RedGage and Wikinut.

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4 Responses to The Day Jane Fell Out of Her Chair

  1. Kathy Minicozzi
    April 29, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    This is a great one!

  2. April 19, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    Hey, nice to see you here, Pattie! I thoroughly enjoyed this one. 🙂

  3. April 17, 2011 at 10:58 am

    HA HA HA! Pattie, a good one as usual. I would have run over her foot too

  4. April 17, 2011 at 10:25 am

    Good to see you on this site, Pattie. I love your stories!



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