Egg Coffee and How Goats Almost Ruled the Earth | HumorOutcasts

Egg Coffee and How Goats Almost Ruled the Earth

July 5, 2014
By

Norwegian Appetizer

EGG COFFEE

INGREDIENTS??????????

9 cups water (1⅓ cups more later)
½ cup freshly ground coffee
⅓ cup water (1 cup more later)
egg
1 cup water.

PREPARATION

Add 9 cups water to large coffee pot or pan. Bring water to boil. While water comes to boil in coffee pot, add coffee, ⅓ cup water and egg to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork. (This mixture looks like potting soil.)

Add coffee/water/egg mix to boiling water. Boil for 3 minutes. Remove coffee pot from heat. Add 1 cup water. Let coffee settle for 10 minutes. Pour coffee through strainer or coffee filters.

This coffee is a lot less bitter than the regular brews and should require less than the normal amount of cream and sugar or none at all.

TIDBITS

1) Historians claim coffee was discovered about a thousand years ago by an Ethiopian goatherd whose goats were bounding with caffeinated energy. How do we know this when we don’t even know how single socks keep disappearing in our clothes dryers?

2). It’s frightening to think that if the goats had only a few more weeks of caffeinated existence, the highly energetic critters could have done their grazing chores in no time at all. They would then have had time to ponder the infinite. Sure, their brains are tiny compared to ours, but hyped up on caffeine they would have to figure that a goat’s life is to give milk and goat meat.

3) To give goat meat means to die. Fast thinking goats wouldn’t have liked that. No, not one bit. And back then goats far outnumbered humans. They would have learned goat karate, attacked us, and gained their independence in regions where human warriors didn’t wear armor. Not long after that the coffee-drinking goats would have developed their own armor, their own spears, and their own catapults. We humans would have been overwhelmed by vast, well-equipped goat armies. We would have had to become vegetarians and the goat’s servants. It nearly happened.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Paul De Lancey

Paul De Lancey writes in multiple genres: adventure, westerns, morality, time travel, thriller, and culinary, all spiced with zaniness. He is a frequent contributor to HumorOutcasts. His novels "Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms?" "Beneficial Murders," "We’re French and You’re Not," and "The Fur West" and his cookbook Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World have won acclaim from award-winning authors. Paul is also the writer of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics. Dr. De Lancey obtained his Doctorate in Economics from the University of Wisconsin. His thesis, “Official Reserve Management and Forecasts of Official Reserves,” disappears from bookstore shelves so quickly that most would-be purchasers can never find it in stock. Paul, known to his friends as Paul, was the proud co-host of the online literary events Bump Off Your Enemies, The Darwin Murders, and Tasteful Murders. He also co-collected, co-edited, and co-published the e-book anthologies resulting from these events. Perhaps Mr. De Lancey will someday become a literary giant without having to die for the title. The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Paul ran for President of the United States in 2012! Woo hoo! On the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Estimates of Bacon & Chocolate’s share of the votes range from 3 to 1.5% of the total. El Candidato also lost a contentious campaign to be El Presidente of Venezuela. In late 2013, Chef Paul participated in the International Bento Competition. The great statesman is again running for president, this time under HumorOutcasts’ sponsorship. Contact Paul before he gets elected to get that ambassadorship to Tahiti you’ve always wanted. Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep. His books are available at: www.lordsoffun.com and amazon.com.

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4 Responses to Egg Coffee and How Goats Almost Ruled the Earth

  1. July 6, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    Because of this post, I feel closer to goats than I ever have. Do you think I can get one of them to meet me at Starbucks and treat him to a latte?

  2. Kathy Minicozzi
    July 5, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    I wonder what kind of political humor we’d have if goats ruled the world.

    • July 6, 2014 at 10:07 pm

      Oh meeting at Starbucks is good, meeting at Greek or Middle Eastern restaurant not so much.

    • July 6, 2014 at 10:08 pm

      Kathy, at least this time we could fleece the politicians



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