Who Put This Banana in the Drawer? | HumorOutcasts

Who Put This Banana in the Drawer?

January 14, 2014
By

The Sock Thief!

The Sock Thief!

I have a way of finding things in unusual places.

Take, for example, the time I found one of my socks on the kitchen floor, next to the door. It was just one gray and orange sock, not two. My sharp detective mind deduced that the culprit must have been Harmony, the cat, since she was the only one that had been home all day. She must have pulled the sock out of the shoe that I had stuffed it in, dragged it from the bedroom into the kitchen, and abandoned it at the door. Using my best human-cat interrogation technique, I tried to get Harmony to confess and tell me why she did it, but she just looked at me for about ten seconds, turned around and walked away. I figured she must have done the deed for one of three reasons:

1. She thought one of my feet would get cold and I would come back in looking for a sock to put on it.

2. She thought it might be a good way to welcome me home, like setting out a pair of slippers, only she only set out one sock.

3. It was a lot of fun to pull it out of the shoe and drag it around the apartment.*

I suspect it was No. 3 all along.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI work as a receptionist, which means that someone has to relieve me at my desk during my lunch hour. One of the two ladies who acts as my lunch relief has a habit of leaving things behind when she goes back to her own desk. Usually, the abandoned object is something innocuous, like a ballpoint pen or a Post-It Note pad. One day I was happy to find no forgotten objects on top of my desk, and I proceeded to settle back in. I needed something from the top right drawer of my desk, and I opened it. There, looking very sad and alone, was a banana! Rather, it was half of a banana. It had been neatly cut, right in the middle, and the skin had been folded over where the rest of the banana used to be. I called out to the woman who had just left my desk, and she claimed the poor forgotten fruit. I was laughing because I thought that finding someone’s banana in my desk drawer was hilarious.**

*It doesn’t take much to amuse a cat.

**It takes even less to amuse me.

Kathy Minicozzi

Kathy Minicozzi is an opera singer turned aspiring writer, who lives somewhere in New York City. In other words, she's weird, but harmless. She is the author of "Opera for People Who Don't Like It," in which she turns the world of opera and its performers upside down while, at the same time, making it understandable to non-opera lovers and making everyone laugh.

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8 Responses to Who Put This Banana in the Drawer?

  1. January 15, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    I hope it’s not like the horse head left on the bed. Don’t be intimidated.

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      January 15, 2014 at 5:24 pm

      There are some scary people in our office, but the woman in question is not one of them. 😉

  2. Bill Y Ledden
    January 15, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    That’s why I don’t like cleaning the house. I’ve become an expert in the finding of dildos. Why only this morning I found 68 of them and that was only in the bedroom!

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      January 15, 2014 at 5:22 pm

      Why am I not surprised? 😉

  3. January 15, 2014 at 8:31 am

    Maybe she was sharing and wanted to make sure you got your potassium fix? That would gross me out!

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      January 15, 2014 at 5:22 pm

      Hah! No, she just forgot it was there. That’s easy to do when you’re busy and you’ve just been required to sit at someone else’s desk for an hour.

      The banana had been neatly cut by some kind of knife, so it was presumably clean. I probably could have eaten it and gotten away with it!

  4. January 15, 2014 at 6:55 am

    Wait until you find the dildo belonging to the homeowner you just bought your first house from while cleaning out the attic. Do you call her or not to let her know she left something behind?

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      January 15, 2014 at 5:18 pm

      Who puts a dildo in an attic?



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