It’s an awesome responsibility with millions of people looking to me for guidance on what no to do today, so I approached today’s list with great thought. So, here are the things I won’t be doing.
1) I will not take my paints and easel to the DMV to paint still-life scenes.
2) I will not move to Antarctica. It’s winter down there.
3) I will not get into any political discussion with a mime. That sort of thing always gets out of hand.
4) I will not check cans at the supermarket for “high fructose corn syrup.” I need a break. I’ll stay away from food buying today.
5) Oh gosh, see what 4) can do. I’m craving a TwinkieTM.
6) I will not repost anything that says, “Repost this.”
7) I will not buy a Twinkie.
9) I will not ask chickens, “Why did you cross the road?”
10) I will put aside my work on a Mobius-strip roller coaster.
11) I will not try to make sense of Middle-Eastern politics.
12) I will not read any of the on-line agreements that I must check before buying anything.
13 I will not buy a Twinkie.
– Paul R. De Lancey, great no-doer
Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com.
9 thoughts on “My Not-To-Do List – Part 3”
Clever. All these years I’ve been making “to do” lists. Your “not to do” lists seem much more fun!
Oh, go ahead and buy a Twinkie! Buy two! 😉
I would, Kathy, but the supermarkets tend to call the police when you rip open a ten pack of Twinkies and take only two. 🙁
Well then, buy two packs of them. That way you can get your Twinkie craving out of the way all at once, right?
I think this is cogent, well thought out list of goals we should all aspire to. So Wise, Oh Comic Chef. So Wise!
I do try to be a beacon of hope to humanity.
Ding Dongs are okay though, right?
Yes, I didn’t commit to not buying Ding Dongs.The pressure is off.
What about those Little Debbie cakes?
I’ve never eaten one of those. If you do buy some, please let me know how they taste. I hate to be the one who wastes money on something that turns out to be BLEAH! 😉
Comments are closed.