Lutesfisk, Swedish Atrocity

LUTEFISK

Heck no, I wont make this.

INGREDIENTS

Dried cod
Lye
Water
Other stuff

PREPARATION

No! No, a thousand times, no. I will not give you a recipe for lutefisk. You bought my cookbook. I have a warm and fuzzy feeling for you. So, look at the ingredients. Lye is a poison.

Furthermore, lutefisk assaults the senses as no other widespread dish. It looks like glue or broiled phlegm; there is some debate on this. It smells like, like, a rat dried under the furnace supplying central heating. It has the texture of boogers. It tastes like fermented cod-liver oil. Fortunately, lutefisk cannot speak.

When I was little, my mother made me eat lutefisk to show what she had to go through when she was small. My grandmother fed lutefisk to my mother to show what she had to go through when she was little girl. My grandmother’s parents left Sweden in the 1880s to get away from lutefisk.

Vikings raided Europe with unparalleled ferocity stoked by lutefisk meal after lutefisk meal in the homeland. Many thousands of them never came back.

There are more disgusting dishes than lutefisk, but they are little known and regional. Let’s pray they stay that way.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

frontcoverscan

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

 
Share this Post:

4 thoughts on “Lutesfisk, Swedish Atrocity”

  1. Really funny and write on! (Bad pun intended…..)
    Being from Wisconsin I once wrote a funny article including letefisk in it. The Editor wrote and had to ask me what it even was. He was from California.

    1. …….actually the post itself sorta smelly like lutefisk on an overly sunny day in Stockholm with 90 degree weather and no clouds……….

Comments are closed.