Wife: Hey, baby, want to get dirty? Me: Yes! *spends two hours planting flowers* Marriage is a trap. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 12, 2014 When my wife asks me something and I wasn’t listening, […]
“Limbaugh Ashamed” scrolled across my newsfeed. I was intrigued and almost clicked on the link , but I also just read an article that said scientists believe the universe will end in about a billion years, so I didn’t […]
You will never see a face transition from total joy to utter shame faster than when a laughing toddler craps his pants.