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Me and Chief Unable-to-Fornicate

July 7, 2015
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Me and Chief Unable-to-Fornicate

An Indian chief on the Northwest Coast was named  Unable-to-Fornicate. Private correspondence of H.L. Davis to H.L. Mencken, cited in The  American Language, 1937 edition. “Maybe  if we put on some Marvin Gaye . .…

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This is one seriously long week.

July 7, 2015
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This is one seriously long week.

If you want something bad enough. If you want it above everything else, you will do everything to get it, to the extent that nothing else matters. There are those who go the extra mile…

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Adventures In Search

July 6, 2015
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Adventures In Search

Last week Google issued an apology after someone noticed that its image recognition software was mislabeling photographs of some black people as gorillas.  This should help the company improve its diversity hiring following recent revelations that…

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U-11 Soccer Girls Gone Wild!

July 6, 2015
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U-11 Soccer Girls Gone Wild!

As it finally hit me that the United States had defeated Japan to win their first women’s World Cup since 1999, I knew where I had to go; out into the streets of my neighborhood to celebrate…

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Thank you for the music.

July 6, 2015
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Thank you for the music.

 I inspire.

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Toe Wrestler Nash Win’s 12th World Title

July 5, 2015
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Toe Wrestler Nash Win’s 12th World Title

TOE WRESTLER NASH CELEBRATES 12TH CHAMPIONSHIP When Alan “Nasty” Nash gave us two thumbs up to indicate his 12th World’s Toe Wrestling Championship held in England, we forgot the obvious. Look at the feet, dummy.…

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When Commencement Speeches Attack

July 5, 2015
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When Commencement Speeches Attack

SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK   With June comes graduation, and I always wanted to do a commencement speech. I don’t know why. I’m not that good at public speaking, and I’d guess a graduating class…

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Welcome To My World.

July 5, 2015
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Welcome To My World.

That girl with the red hair is cute.

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Oeufs En Meurette and Paul Gauguin, Fingerpainter – Uncensored

July 5, 2015
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Oeufs En Meurette and Paul Gauguin, Fingerpainter – Uncensored

French Entree OEUFS EN MEURETTE INGREDIENTS 3 ounces thick, really fatty bacon* 12 pearl onions 1 small onion ½ celery stalk 2 shallots 1 garlic clove 5 cups water ¼ teaspoon pepper 12 ounces red…

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My Not-To-Do List – Part 2

July 5, 2015
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My Not-To-Do List – Part 2

I have a will of iron. When I resolve not to do something, it stays undone. Here are things I shall not do today. 1) See my dentist. 2) Schedule a colonoscopy. (I’m not in…

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As Women’s Tennis Grunts Spread, Men Try Armpit Farts

July 5, 2015
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As Women’s Tennis Grunts Spread, Men Try Armpit Farts

WIMBLEDON, England. When it began with Monica Seles, it seemed innocuous, or merely annoying. But now, say old school tennis champs including Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert, the practice of grunting by women’s tennis players…

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Airline Passengers! Is There A Right To Recline?

July 5, 2015
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By: Daniel Lobo

It’s called the Knee Defender. But I prefer to think of it as the Schmuck Identifier. It was dreamed up by a tall man who was tired of getting his knees slammed whenever the person…

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Warnings That We Should See, But Don’t

July 5, 2015
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Fatal to White Clothing

On a bag of Peanut M&Ms: The contents of this bag can be highly addictive to people with no self-control. On a group of really hot firemen who are grocery shopping together in Stop &…

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Knock, Knock . . . Who’s (Not) There?

July 4, 2015
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Knock, Knock . . . Who’s (Not) There?

Being married to a Brit has its ups and downs.  They can be very touchy about the Fourth of July.  They, for obvious reasons, are a bit stern about their loss and wish not to…

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Tap to Tag

July 4, 2015
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Tap to Tag

The camera never lies.

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Summer Party Advice, From Father to Son

July 4, 2015
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Summer Party Advice, From Father to Son

We were sitting outside, enjoying the first clear night following several days of rain, when my wife told me that our eldest son was going to Martha’s Vineyard with friends for the Fourth. “You’ll talk…

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Creating a New Image for Sharks

July 4, 2015
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shark

Sunday night begins the eagerly-awaited “Shark Week” on Discovery Channel. In anticipation of the annual event, sharks of all species gathered at their own conference to discuss ways to soften their image and change the…

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Greece Responds to Creditors, Forgets to Include Check

July 3, 2015
By
Angela2

ATHENS. Hopes for settlement of the Greek monetary crisis continued their roller coaster ride today when the International Monetary Fund opened what they thought was an envelope containing an overdue payment and found no money…

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Maybe I should have gone with Spider-Man

July 3, 2015
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Maybe I should have gone with Spider-Man

I’m looking for new publicity methods, so this is what I came up with for my book signing a week from tomorrow:   If I sell 250 books at the signing, from 2-5 July 11th…

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HumorOutcasts Radio – Interview with Ruth Weisberg

July 3, 2015
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HumorOutcasts Radio – Interview with Ruth Weisberg

Ruth Weisberg puts the “multi” in multimedia—TV and radio commentator, voiceover narrator and coach, journalist, motivational speaker, and TV talk show host. She is the producer and host of “Storytime and Show ‘n Tell with…

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Ignorance is This

July 3, 2015
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Ignorance is This

So this is not me and my imaginary son but there’s a reason why I don’t have kids and that reason is The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel.

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Our Bodies Our Shelves
By Roz Warren and HumorOutcasts Press

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Showering With Nana
By Cathy Sikorski Published by HumorOutcasts Press

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Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms?
By Paul R. De Lancey and HumorOutcasts Press

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