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The Things I Miss…

July 30, 2014
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By: Andrew Hazlett

I MISS… Middle Age:  It used to be that when asked my age on a survey, the options were something like this:   20-25 26-30 31-35 36-40 41-44 45-49 50-54 55-59 60-64 65-69 70-74 75-80…

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To be cont…

July 30, 2014
By
To be cont…

Thanks for the present Jill Y. I reserve my right to sleep on it and get you your present tomorrow:

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Danish Egg Cake and Rabbit-Jumping Contests

July 29, 2014
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Danish Egg Cake and Rabbit-Jumping Contests

Danish Entree EGG CAKE (æggekage) INGREDIENTS 12 ounces bacon 1/2 small onion ¼ cup fresh basil 8 eggs ¼ cup flour 1½ cups milk ¼ teaspoon pepper ½ teaspoon salt no-stick spray SPECIAL UTENSILS electric…

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Dear Ryan Gosling, Please Break Up With Eva

July 29, 2014
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Ryan Gosling and Evan Mendes break up

Ryan Gosling has been in the news recently because he allegedly got Evan Mendes pregnant.  He hasn’t denied it but I won’t believe it until the DNA test is complete.  Even then, I’m sure she…

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Why Smart People Tell Us To Lean In (And Not Back)

July 29, 2014
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image

I’m not sure why you’d buy a patio chair at a store called Christmas Tree Shops. A patio chair, which evokes balmy summer evenings on the deck out back, has nothing to do with a…

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LMVAO

July 29, 2014
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LMVAO

I’ve never understood it and I never will. They (people who are not me) say that Spock has no sense of humor! Of course he has a sense of humor and a great one at…

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Meet Author Mary O. Paddock

July 28, 2014
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Meet Author Mary O. Paddock

As most of you know, one of the primary goals of HumorOutcasts.com/HO Press/Shorehouse Books is to get the word out about talented authors. Mary O. Paddock is one of those authors. Today, we are sharing…

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First Visit

July 28, 2014
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First Visit

I can understand why people freaked out over the Affordable Care Act. Duped by a doomsaying media, some people thought what they saw on TV was actually about health-care itself, and not primarily an attempt…

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The Wise, Worldly Words of Sugartastic Daddy John.

July 28, 2014
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The Wise, Worldly Words of Sugartastic Daddy John.

When I first set eyes on Jill Y, I knew she was the one for me and when she didn’t take out a restraining order against me, it just proved how different she was to…

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Burmese Cake, Burma Shave, and the Cuban Missile Crisis

July 27, 2014
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Burmese Cake, Burma Shave, and the Cuban Missile Crisis

Burmese Dessert SEMOLINA CAKE (sanwin makin) INGREDIENTS 1 16-ounce can coconut cream or 2 14-ounces cans coconut milk. 3 eggs 2 tablespoons sesame seeds 1 cup semolina or cream of wheat 1 cup sugar ¼…

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Unicorn Bites 7/26/14

July 27, 2014
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By: Kelly Sikkema

Wife: Have you been drinking? Me: Wait, you haven’t been? Apparently we have very different ideas about how to chaperon this field trip. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 26, 2014 I wanted to get a…

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Thirsty Dave’s favorite author is Brett Yeaston Ellis.

July 27, 2014
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Thirsty Dave’s favorite author is Brett Yeaston Ellis.

Thirsty Dave is a man of savage intellect and that’s for sure. We tracked his lineage to the days of early, thirsty man. Honest to the core, his people shun the way of the lie.…

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Despite Crashes, Air Travel Still Extremely Safe on Planes That Do Not Crash

July 26, 2014
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Despite Crashes, Air Travel Still Extremely Safe on Planes That Do Not Crash

Aviation experts around the world have united to issue a joint statement concerning the safety of air travel. They say that despite recent airline crashes, it is still extremely safe to fly on planes that…

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Lawyers And Cars

July 26, 2014
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Lawyers And Cars

A friend of mine recently rear-ended a car while driving. She glanced down at her stereo for a split second and then crunch!! It turned out that the guy she hit was an attorney who…

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Unicorn Bites 7/25/14

July 26, 2014
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By: owensoft

Me: Work was AWFUL. Wife: All the kids pooped through their clothes at the same time. I put them in the tub & cried Me:*goes back to work* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 25, 2014…

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Help! I’m Being Chased by Words!

July 26, 2014
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Help!  I’m Being Chased by Words!

Writers are weird. I didn’t know just how weird until I became one. From being an opera singer for several decades, I already had a head start on being weird. That was a big help…

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It’s all in the smile.

July 26, 2014
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It’s all in the smile.

A man in my position needs to understand Photoshop. With Photoshop, all is sometimes not what it seems but how do we know what is real and what is doctored? I’m so glad that I…

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Palestinians Caught Red-Handed Using Human Shields to Defend Schools

July 25, 2014
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Palestinians Caught Red-Handed Using Human Shields to Defend Schools

Israeli Defense Force says that they caught Palestinian officials in Gaza “red-handed” defending a school used as a UN shelter with ‘human shields.’ They’ve been making this accusation for some time but only recently did…

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Friday Humor Devotional

July 25, 2014
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Friday Humor Devotional

Dear Lord, I don’t know how to explain to my excited but extremely naive brother that the new film, Fifty Shades of Grey is not a movie made especially for the color blind, Amen.

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Fifty Shades of Grey and Hallmark?

July 25, 2014
By
grey

The trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey is out, and the film will hit theaters on Valentine’s Day of 2015. Because I have nothing better to do, I have been thinking of fun ways to…

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Unicorn Bites 7/24/14

July 25, 2014
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I just ate the sticker on an apple, in case you wondered how many fucks I give today. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 24, 2014 *eats goldfish crackers* *adds “marine biologist” to résumé* — Exploding Unicorn…

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Welcome To Heidi
By Heidi Clements and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


New Release
Always, Montana
By Deb Martin-Webster Published by Shorehouse Books

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