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Viewers Are Gonna Be Furious

December 20, 2014
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Viewers Are Gonna Be Furious

Following its decision to not release The Interview, Sony Pictures is taking further steps to placate the emotional needs and insecurities of the North Korean government. Documents obtained by the entertainment website Inside Addition reveal that…

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Scurvy Jane employs Irish diplomacy in her dealings with Thirsty Dave.

December 20, 2014
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Scurvy Jane employs Irish diplomacy in her dealings with Thirsty Dave.

In his own imagination, he was a tall glass of water but in reality, he was Thirsty Dave. He was texting Scurvy Jane for the last hour or so when the scurvy one sent him…

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Christmas Shopping For Uncle Vlad

December 19, 2014
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Christmas Shopping For Uncle Vlad

Most people are easy to shop for during Christmas. Your mom with the big garden gets a book about plants. Your son who’s totally into soccer gets a new soccer ball. But what if your…

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In Story Fit for Christmas, Strangers Save Man From Starbucks Eviction

December 19, 2014
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In Story Fit for Christmas, Strangers Save Man From Starbucks Eviction

BOSTON. Niles Oberg hates Christmas music and doesn’t consider himself a religious man. “The only time I see the inside of a church is when a friend gets married,” he says. “And even then my…

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Like father, like Son…

December 19, 2014
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Like father, like Son…

According to the word on the street, I’ll turn into my dad one day. It’s already happened for this little dude:

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Unicorn Bites #578

December 19, 2014
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By: Mike Mozart

Professor: Which dynasty came after the Ming Dynasty? Me: Professor: Me: Duck? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 2, 2014 Wife: You didn’t do anything today. Me: I quit smoking. Wife: You never smoked. Me: OK.…

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I’m Dreaming Of An Evergreen Christmas

December 18, 2014
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Check me out at the Kendallville Mall: http://www.4countymall.com/mark-hunter—slightly-off-the-mark/im-dreaming-of-an-evergreen-christmas-slightly-off-the-mark   SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK   When we put up the Christmas tree last year, our dog became very puzzled. “Dude, there are all kinds of trees…

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Unicorn Bites #577

December 18, 2014
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4-year-old daughter: *watches “Jurassic Park”* I don’t like the T. rex. Me: Why not? 4: He’s a dick. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 1, 2014 4-year-old: I found two pennies. Me: So? 4: I don’t need you anymore. —…

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Cheap Oil is Black Gold for Shoppers

December 18, 2014
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Cheap Oil is Black Gold for Shoppers

Looking for a last-minute stocking stuffer that is out of the ordinary? Why not choose a miniature barrel of crude oil? Oil prices have plunged and Texas tea is now so cheap that companies are…

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HOPress Holiday Books Part IV

December 18, 2014
By
souvenirmarypaddock

Here we are; the final installment of our titles for this year from HOPress-Shorehouse Books. First up today is Stacey Roberts author of Trailer Trash, With a Girl’s Name – When the author was born, his…

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A Guide To Making Parking Enforcement Your Ally

December 18, 2014
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A Guide To Making Parking Enforcement Your Ally

Whenever you start dating someone seriously, you should always make a copy of their car key without them knowing it. I’ll get to the reason for that in a moment. When I was back in…

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The Invisible Pee-dripping Monster

December 18, 2014
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The Invisible Pee-dripping Monster

We’ve all seen it.  There’s pee on the house toilet but nobody admits to it knowing how it got there.  Sometimes the pee trickles down the side of the toilet and, after a day or two,…

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Sony Greenlights “Glorious Sun of Mankind Kim Jong-un Adventure!”

December 18, 2014
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Sony Greenlights “Glorious Sun of Mankind Kim Jong-un Adventure!”

HOLLYWOOD.  Studio executives at Sony Pictures yesterday gave the green light to “Glorious Sun of Mankind Kim Jong-un Adventure,” an action-comedy-drama-romance-documentary starring Kim Jong-un, supreme leader of North Korea, and co-starring Kim Jong-un. “What can…

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I’m sorry but I think you’ve mistaken me for someone who apologizes.

December 18, 2014
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I’m sorry but I think you’ve mistaken me for someone who apologizes.

I ain’t even sayin’ sorry:

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Unicorn Bites #576

December 18, 2014
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Me: You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Do you know what that means? 4-year-old: Horses are stupid. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 30, 2014 4-year-old: I don’t want a…

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5 Other Things Not to Do if You Want to Finish Your Novel

December 17, 2014
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5 Other Things Not to Do if You Want to Finish Your Novel

As a budding but unsuccessful writer of long standing, I turn to Writer’s Digest for the pro-tips that I hope will transform me from a perennially-rejected shlub to a guy who has to fight off…

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Unicorn Bites #575

December 17, 2014
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By: William Warby

Wife: Jogging burns 300 calories. Me: What about napping? Wife: Like 1 calorie. Me: *takes 300 naps* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 29, 2014 4-year-old: When does Monopoly end? Me: When someone gets punched in…

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Jason Alexander! Here at Last.

December 17, 2014
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Jason Alexander!  Here at Last.

A little over a year ago, I had the honor of going into the studio with the amazingly talented Jason Alexander, and watching him record the audiobook for Elevating Overman. Through the various trials and…

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Sherlock, The Doctor and Batman? My Not Entirely Serious Predictions for Season Four of Sherlock

December 17, 2014
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The BBC’s “Sherlock” is among the most popular shows on TV, and there has been much speculation among die-hard fans like myself about what the upcoming fourth season will hold. Having consulted my own crystal…

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A New Tax Credit For People Who Care

December 17, 2014
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A New Tax Credit For People Who Care

Many people in America struggle at making a living. After much investigation I’ve uncovered the primary source of this difficulty – having a conscience. Recently I read about the two guys whose company designed and…

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Cheney: Spanish Inquisition Produced Valuable Information

December 17, 2014
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Cheney: Spanish Inquisition Produced Valuable Information

WASHINGTON.  Former Vice President Dick Cheney took on a new adversary yesterday, calling on Pope Francis I to release documents to support his contention that the Spanish Inquisition produced valuable information through torture. Cheney:  “I…

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