Latest Story

Let There Be Rock

August 23, 2014
By
Let There Be Rock

Yesterday I was reading the liner notes of a music CD. The band had risen quickly, toured relentlessly, and then imploded after the tensions caused from too much Holiday Inn food boiled over. Have you…

Read more »

The Big Bag of Bras

August 23, 2014
By
The Big Bag of Bras

Not many people know about me what I’m about to reveal to you. I – uh oh, maybe I shouldn’t share – do I dare? OK, I’m going to risk it – one of my…

Read more »

It’s easy to spot my bad points but that’s only because I have so many.

August 23, 2014
By
It’s easy to spot my bad points but that’s only because I have so many.

I’m a lot off things. I’m inconsiderate; self-centred; self-absorbed; self-important; impatient; forgetful and inconsiderate and that’s just what my friends say about me. Everybody seems to point out my endless bad points but nobody remembers…

Read more »

How Bananas Provide Potassium and Promote World Peace

August 22, 2014
By
How Bananas Provide Potassium and Promote World Peace

I tried meditation, but I fell asleep. So, I took a long walk, but I got lost. Then I found the answer to both my potassium deficiency and my angst over ghastly world events: The…

Read more »

Au Rotten

August 22, 2014
By
Au Rotten

When you tune into this show you can be certain of one thing – you’ll see hard-hitting competitors who don’t mince their words. And the highlight will come when one contestant says “Oh, sorry, I…

Read more »

Tackling Smutty Football Terminology 101

August 22, 2014
By
football

It’s football season once again, and if you’re like me – not a football aficionado – all of the game phraseology is Greek to you. That’s why I decided to bone up on the lingo.…

Read more »

Funny #2, Repairmen

August 22, 2014
By
Funny #2, Repairmen

  But you can get them to arrive by going to the bathroom. - Humorist Paul - Chef Paul   My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com…

Read more »

Sayings That Suck or Idiotic Idioms #1

August 22, 2014
By
Sayings That Suck or Idiotic Idioms #1

I’ve got nothing against the home spun wisdom encapsulated in our favorite sayings, but some of them are so outdated they need to be weeded out. Here’s one that’s long past its expiry date. “You…

Read more »

HumorOutcasts Radio – Interview with Vince Considine

August 22, 2014
By
HumorOutcasts Radio – Interview with Vince Considine

I was thrilled to have Vince Considine on the show with us last night. If there is a definition of a horror writer, it is this man.  We have provided a YouTube link for his…

Read more »

The Playboy Mansion Exposed

August 22, 2014
By
The Playboy Mansion Exposed

As the Unofficial Historian and Expert of All Things Southern California, I want to make it clear that while Disneyland may be the “Happiest Place On Earth,” the place everyone wants to see is The…

Read more »

Unicorn Bites 8/21/14

August 22, 2014
By
By: ღ ℂℏ℟ḯʂ ღ

Me: Don’t talk to me until I’ve had coffee. Coworker: But you never drink coffee. Me: Exactly. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 21, 2014 Me: Why don’t you send me birthday cards? Mom: Same reason…

Read more »

The very unemployed Sugartastic Daddy John.

August 22, 2014
By
The very unemployed Sugartastic Daddy John.

Sugartastic Daddy John recently went to a job interview but he didn’t get the job. His résumé is pretty impressive but there’s a gap of three years where he had no work experience or life…

Read more »

Mummified Meatballs and Other Clueless Cuisine

August 22, 2014
By
Mummified Meatballs and Other Clueless Cuisine

Most of the time, I hate cooking. It’s a lot of trouble and you have to clean up afterward, which is even more trouble than cooking. Result: a lot of takeout and a lot of…

Read more »

Phillip Dillman and HO Press

August 21, 2014
By
Phillip Dillman and HO Press

        Editor’s Note: While we don’t know what goes on in Phil’s brain when he draws,  we think that the woman calling the shots in this cartoon is in fact, HO editor…

Read more »

A Short Course in Companion Goat Shopping

August 21, 2014
By
A Short Course in Companion Goat Shopping

This week Madam suggested that I might enjoy the companionship of a goat. Not just any goat, but maybe a Nigerian Dwarf goat or a Spanish goat. Apparently she’s on a goat affirmative action kick.…

Read more »

Reality: A Little Less Funny Concept

August 21, 2014
By
Reality: A Little Less Funny Concept

SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK     The other night my wife asked me to hand her a bottle of water. I reached for it and said, “When I blow a dollar on a bottle of…

Read more »

Accountants’ Hall of Fame Still Waiting to Count Inductee Number One

August 21, 2014
By
Accountants’ Hall of Fame Still Waiting to Count Inductee Number One

A year after is opened in Gray Plains, Graytown, ND, the National Accountants’ Hall of Fame & Museum has yet to draft its first inductee. The organization came close in January when John Graysmith agreed to…

Read more »

Dutch Apple Pie and Proctologists

August 21, 2014
By
Dutch Apple Pie and Proctologists

Dutch Dessert APPLE PIE INGREDIENTS – CRUST ¾ cup butter (another 6 tablespoons later) 1½ cups flour (another 1 cup later) 2 tablespoons brown sugar (another ¼ cup later) ¼ teaspoon salt INGREDIENTS – FILLING…

Read more »

Police Release Pictures Of Gunned Down Teens Flashing Gang Signs

August 21, 2014
By
Police Release Pictures Of Gunned Down Teens Flashing Gang Signs

BANKSTON, ARKANSAS – Today embattled Bankston Police Department released photos which they say help support their case that unarmed teen Marcus Black and his friends may have indeed been involved in gang behavior the night…

Read more »

EIGHT PEOPLE I LOVE TO HATE AT THE GYM

August 21, 2014
By

  I’m a sucker for those late-night weight-loss infomercials and, as a result, own a library of workout DVDs and a machine that transforms into a torturous, in-home gym. At first I enjoyed exercising on…

Read more »

I had a fish pedicure

August 21, 2014
By
I had a fish pedicure

Video Clip:  Suzette Standring Gets a Fish Pedicure In France I had a fish pedicure where scores of fishes nibbled away at my tootsies. When I read the signs, “Fish Pedicure” and “Fish Massage,” I…

Read more »

User Login

New Release
Stand Up and be a Lady
By Robin Savage and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


New Release
Welcome To Heidi
By Heidi Clements and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


New Release
Always, Montana
By Deb Martin-Webster Published by Shorehouse Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle



Archives