Crispy Fish Taco and the Ruthless Louisiana Crawfish | HumorOutcasts

Crispy Fish Taco and the Ruthless Louisiana Crawfish

August 11, 2016
By

Mexican Entree

CRISPY FISH TACO

INGREDIENTSFishTaco-

⅓ cup mayonnaise
1½ cups coleslaw mix or shredded cabbage
2 tablespoons oil (2 additional tablespoons later)
8 corn tortillas
2 tablespoons butter
2 garlic cloves
1 pound cod, tilapia, or orange roughy fillets
½ tablespoon lime juice
½ teaspoon cumin
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 cup melon salsa (See above recipe) or mango salsa

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric skillet
9″ loaf pan

Makes 8 tacos. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add mayonnaise and coleslaw mix to mixing bowl. Mix with fork. Add 2 tablespoons vegetable oil to skillet. Heat oil to 375 degrees. The oil is hot enough if it sizzles when a tortilla is added. Add 1 tortilla at a time. Suté tortilla for 20 seconds on each side or until tortilla is crispy but still flexible enough to be folded. Fold tortilla in half and place it upright in loaf pan. Put a paper towel on each side of tortilla to drain off grease. Repeat for 8 remaining tortillas.

Melt butter in pan using medium heat. Dice garlic cloves. Add fish and lime juice to mixing bowl. Turn fish until well coated. Add garlic and cumin to bowl. Turn fish fillets until well coated with garlic and cumin.

Add 2 tablespoons vegetable oil to pan. Cook on medium heat until a few bubbles appear. Carefully add fish fillets to pan. (Holding the pan’s lid between you and the pan with our other hand is often a good idea in these situations.) Sauté for about 3 minutes on each side or until fish fillets flake easily with fork. Remove from heat. Put ⅛ of the fish flakes in a crispy tortilla. Add 3 tablespoons of mayonnaise/coleslaw mix to tortilla. Top with 2 tablespoons of melon salsa. Repeat for each taco.

TIDBITS

1) Psychic factors are afoot.

2) How do I know this?

3) An anagram for “crispy fish taco” is “psychic factors.”

4) Would I have gotten the same anagram with “crispy beef tacos?”

5) No, in that cash the anagram would have been “pbycee factors.”

6) There is no such thing as pbycee factors, although there are crispy beef tacos. Spooky.

7) So, what inspired me to make up a recipe for crispy beef tacos or even for the throw-caution-to-the wind crispy chicken tacos?

8) Psychic factors. Proof you cannot deny.

10) Who or what are responsible for these psychic factors making me make crispy fish tacos, specifically using cod as the seafood of choice?

11) Crayfish optometrists. Their organization is called Crayfish OpticsTM. Crayfish Optics wants to drive every human optician and optometrist in Louisiana out of business.

12) Why? There’s much more money to be made treating human eyes than those of crayfish. Always has been.

13) There’s also an urgent, ugly side to the crayfish optometrists desire to make people like me post recipes like this one. The crayfish know people will always will eat seafood. They want their cod brethren to give up their lives for our recipes, not themselves. It’s a fish eat fish world down there.

14) Why don’t cod notice these deadly attempts by the crayfish? I know there’s really no room for advancement for cod as such, but still, why not resist?

15) The cod don’t have time to notice how their being substituted into more and more recipes and menus. They obsess over every little detail in their little fish world. Cod are OCD. OCD is an anagram for cod. Proof you cannot deny.

16) Why hasn’t the vaunted Louisiana Marine Outreach and Intelligence Investigation Agency (LMOIIA) caught onto the nefarious plans of Crayfish Optics?

17) Simple, most Louisianans refer to crayfish as crawfish. So, the LMOIIA is only looking for activity from crawfish.

18) But how can the grate LMOIIA, try saying that real fast, be thrown off by such a simple trick as changing the “w” in crawfish?

19) Sad to say, Louisiana’s budget woes have affected all its agencies, none more than LMOIIA. LMOIIA’s people just don’t have the people or the resources to see through such a simple trick. The crawfish know this. They keep up on the state’s finances. Cod-killing bastards.

Chef PaulDeLanceyPaul

 

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

Paul De Lancey

Paul De Lancey writes in multiple genres: adventure, westerns, morality, time travel, thriller, and culinary, all spiced with zaniness. He is a frequent contributor to HumorOutcasts. His novels "Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms?" "Beneficial Murders," "We’re French and You’re Not," and "The Fur West" and his cookbook Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World have won acclaim from award-winning authors. Paul is also the writer of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics. Dr. De Lancey obtained his Doctorate in Economics from the University of Wisconsin. His thesis, “Official Reserve Management and Forecasts of Official Reserves,” disappears from bookstore shelves so quickly that most would-be purchasers can never find it in stock. Paul, known to his friends as Paul, was the proud co-host of the online literary events Bump Off Your Enemies, The Darwin Murders, and Tasteful Murders. He also co-collected, co-edited, and co-published the e-book anthologies resulting from these events. Perhaps Mr. De Lancey will someday become a literary giant without having to die for the title. The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Paul ran for President of the United States in 2012! Woo hoo! On the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Estimates of Bacon & Chocolate’s share of the votes range from 3 to 1.5% of the total. El Candidato also lost a contentious campaign to be El Presidente of Venezuela. In late 2013, Chef Paul participated in the International Bento Competition. The great statesman is again running for president, this time under HumorOutcasts’ sponsorship. Contact Paul before he gets elected to get that ambassadorship to Tahiti you’ve always wanted. Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep. His books are available at: www.lordsoffun.com and amazon.com.

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2 Responses to Crispy Fish Taco and the Ruthless Louisiana Crawfish

  1. August 11, 2016 at 7:32 pm

    Cod have OCD? I never knew that. I get it explains their desire to jump into nets?

    • August 11, 2016 at 10:02 pm

      Cod only jump into flawless nets.



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