Drunken Cheeseburgers and Marie Antoinette | HumorOutcasts

Drunken Cheeseburgers and Marie Antoinette

September 17, 2018
By

American Entree

DRUNKEN CHEESEBURGERS

INGREDIENTS

4 garlic cloves
1 pound ground beef (80%) or ground chuck
2 cups Cabernet Sauvignon, Marsala, or red wine
1 red onion or sweet onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
4 sesame hamburger buns
⅔ cup grated cheddar cheese
¼ cup fresh basil leaves

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Dice garlic cloves. Add garlic and ground beef to large mixing bowl. Mix by hand. Form 4 patties by hand. Pour wine over patties. Cover and marinate in refrigerate for 2 hours. While patties marinate, thinly slice onion. Add onion and olive oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until softens. Remove onion slices from pan and place on plate covered with paper towel. Keep olive oil in pan.

Add patties to large pan. Cover and fry patties at medium heat for 5 minutes. Flip patties, cover, and fry for 3 minutes or until patties are cooked nearly to your desired level of doneness. Sprinkle cheese over each patty and fry for another 2 minutes or until cheese melts. While patties fry, toast buns. Place patty on bottom hamburger bun. Add patty. Carefully ladle 1½ tablespoons marinade onto patty. Top with 1 tablespoon basil leaves. Add top hamburger bun.

TIDBITS

1) Brynne Chandler was born a peasant girl in Nevers, France on November 2, 1755. the same day as Marie Antoinette . Because of their great beauty, Brynne and Marie became European fashion models. Then Marie up and became queen of France. Bereft of her modeling companion, Brynne naturally pursued quantum physics. Brynne did well in her new career. She even discovered how to run faster than the speed of light. Indeed, she holds the world record for the mile, .0000056 seconds.

2) Things went differently for Marie Antoinette. Her lavish spending bankrupted the French monarchy. The impoverish monarchy fell. Marie found herself at a guillotine on October 16, 1793. Brynne protested. “No, no, no.” Our heroine rushed the guillotine intending the save the queen. Unfortunately, she ran at the speed of light. It was at this point that our plucky soul discovered that time halted for her while staying the same for the French revolutionaries. When Brynne stopped running, she found herself in the year 2017. “Well, that won’t happen again,” said Brynne. So she took up cooking with wine. All drunken dishes, including drunken chicken and drunken cheeseburgers are inspired by her trail-blazing culinary spirit. Brynne says she’s no longer even tempted to run as fast of the speed of light. Olympic runners, aspiring to set records, are grateful.

Chef Paul

frontcoverscanCheck out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

Paul De Lancey

Paul De Lancey writes in multiple genres: adventure, westerns, morality, time travel, thriller, and culinary, all spiced with zaniness. He is a frequent contributor to HumorOutcasts. His novels "Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms?" "Beneficial Murders," "We’re French and You’re Not," and "The Fur West" and his cookbook Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World have won acclaim from award-winning authors. Paul is also the writer of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics. Dr. De Lancey obtained his Doctorate in Economics from the University of Wisconsin. His thesis, “Official Reserve Management and Forecasts of Official Reserves,” disappears from bookstore shelves so quickly that most would-be purchasers can never find it in stock. Paul, known to his friends as Paul, was the proud co-host of the online literary events Bump Off Your Enemies, The Darwin Murders, and Tasteful Murders. He also co-collected, co-edited, and co-published the e-book anthologies resulting from these events. Perhaps Mr. De Lancey will someday become a literary giant without having to die for the title. The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Paul ran for President of the United States in 2012! Woo hoo! On the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Estimates of Bacon & Chocolate’s share of the votes range from 3 to 1.5% of the total. El Candidato also lost a contentious campaign to be El Presidente of Venezuela. In late 2013, Chef Paul participated in the International Bento Competition. The great statesman is again running for president, this time under HumorOutcasts’ sponsorship. Contact Paul before he gets elected to get that ambassadorship to Tahiti you’ve always wanted. Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep. His books are available at: www.lordsoffun.com and amazon.com.

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