I pictured myself venturing out in public with a red and swollen face, so I waited until I had two days with nothing planned. Finally, the time was right. I pulled the cup of wax […]
Wednesday, August 24th is National Waffle Day! It also happens to be the day I would have celebrated my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. After investing so many years in one failed relationship, I am fully evaluating […]
For the first time since 1989, I’m playing the dating game. I haven’t really been in the mood to shave my legs, so I was in no hurry to jump back in after the divorce. […]
Dear Santa, Typically, my letters start with, “I have been a very good girl,” but this year, not so much. I’ve been wearing my skirts a little shorter, tipping the rum bottle a bit more, […]
If I don’t rupture something while trying to stuff one more piece of pie into my face, followed by a piece of turkey, followed by a tiny slice of cake, followed by a bite or […]
Years ago, I knew a guy named Richard Head. Went by Dick. We had him paged at K-mart once. Within a minute, six guys showed up at the counter.
Oh, for Pete’s sake! Another bra went missing. While packing for our trip, I made a last minute decision to toss my strapless model into the suitcase. Three times I rifled through my underwear drawer, […]
Having a five-year-old boy, I am reminded of how much kids like gross stuff. I don’t know what it is about bodily functions, and disgusting activities that appeals to the younger set. Right now, we […]
I recently saw this sign outside the Wal-mart dressing rooms. I’ll have to be more conscientious about following the rules next time. I wonder what the attendant woud say if I stripped out of my […]
Sam’s Club has a new product on the shelf. I didn’t buy any because I already have a bulk supply.