Holidays Or Hellidays? Your Choice.
NOON, December 18, 2012 We come from all directions, slowly, trudging across the wet parking lot. Our hearts sink and our faces go slack when we see the line snaking out through the front door […]
Science? Good or Ungood?
Science, like a calculator, answers the really difficult questions in life. If it wasn’t for Science, there would be no beer to drown out the terror that the sound of Bon Jovi insist on making […]
December’s Dietary Requirements
Cookies, candy, fruit cake and Pepto-Bismol: the major food groups for the month of December
One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do is to stop loving someone because they’ve stopped loving you.
It’s happy time boys and girls because it’s time to learn and as we all know, happiness is learning. In my head where Bon Jovi do not exist, I contemplate the square root of a […]
Christmas and the Single Woman
The day after Thanksgiving: Black Friday! Eeeeeeek! I’m going to call in sick at work, feed the cat, then wrap myself in a blanket and pretend this day doesn’t exist. I will not leave the […]
Now I Know The Way To San Jose
MOMENTS BEFORE LANDING IN DENVER, COLORADO I realized with stunning clarity that I had accidentally put the four of us on a plane to San Jose, California instead of San Jose, Costa Rica. It was […]
Professor Google
When the sound of Bon Jovi can no longer be heard and my time has come to leave this world, I will look back with a single regret. I will wish that I had gone […]
Study: Media Stigmatizes Crazy Fuckers With Mental Illnesses
[Note: This was written before the shooting in Connecticut, was withheld until now, and was and is not an attempt in any way to diminish what happened in the terrible incident. Relax.] A recent study […]
The Ideal Gift For Any Man
A few years ago I helped a friend move and picked up an umbrella that her daughter no longer wanted. Testing out the girl’s umbrella, I quickly realized something – it was far sturdier than […]