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Resolved: No New Year’s Resolutions

December 30, 2018
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I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions, mostly because failing is a terrible way to start a new year. If you’re going to make a major life change, it’s usually best to do it gradually. A…

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How To Cheer Up a Sad Poem

December 29, 2018
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How To Cheer Up a Sad Poem

It is one of the most difficult problems of aesthetic philosophy: What do we mean when we say that a song or poem is sad? I’ve read Aristotle, Kant, Croce–Benedetto, not Jim–all the big names.…

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Trump Visited By Ghosts Of Anti-Communists Past

December 28, 2018
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He was about to slumber, alone in the White House on this winter’s Christmas Eve. Melania and the boys were in Mar-A-Lago. Congress and a quarter of the Federal workforce was shut down. The few…

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Turtle Necks

December 28, 2018
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Friday, December 28, 2018 Today I am grateful for turtle necks. . . not turkey necks which I seem to have instead.  I just realized it’s been five days since I’ve graced you with a…

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New Years Resolution

December 28, 2018
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Holidays are almost over. Thanksgiving’s leftover turkey is all gone. Christmas presents have been purchased, opened (returned?) and the Christmas tree has dried out and is ready to be discarded. So, one day left, New…

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“Songs of Circumcision” Brings Christian, Jewish Men Together at New Year’s

December 28, 2018
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BROOKLINE, Mass.  The population of this near suburb of Boston is disproportionately Jewish now, but it is also the birthplace of John F. Kennedy, the nation’s only Roman Catholic President.  “In many ways, this is the…

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It’s like looking in a mirror and somehow seeing the back of your head (which is a work of art in itself) except it’s a painting and not a mirror and paintings are art or something…

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Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh, and Panettone

December 27, 2018
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I know I’m going to get some pushback on this from Chocolate Babka fanatics, and they make a strong argument, but for me the pinnacle of Western Civilization is Panettone. Specifically, Panettone with Chocolate Chip…

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One Retail Clerk Swats WASPs on Way to Top

December 27, 2018
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BOSTON.  “The results are in,” Tony Armandine, a manager at the last remaining department store in downtown Boston said to an assembled group of retail help yesterday, the day after Christmas.  “And the winner–once again–is Ned Pringy,”…

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So he’s going to watch the cartoon and then make a new deers resolution to stop poaching???

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Meanwhile, Back In Washington….

December 26, 2018
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No Presents Are Accounted For

December 26, 2018
By

I fielded calls on Christmas Eve; they all came from the children. “Oh, when will I see Santa?!” – their anticipation buildin’. Of all the cheerful answers found in any parent’s arsenal, I chose to…

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The Day After Christmas for a Teen Girl Lifeguard

December 26, 2018
By
pool

Hi Amanda, I can’t meet you at the mall, I have to work today–ugh!  So I’m lifeguarding at the Town Pool.  I’m not SUPPOSED to be texting but I don’t care.  They don’t pay me…

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Ignacio’s Special First American Christmas

December 25, 2018
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This is a story of a teenaged boy whom I will call Ignacio. He was brought to America from a village in South America to live in a small town for a year as a…

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All I Want For Christmas Is More, More and More Christmas.

December 24, 2018
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Six weeks ago, I awoke to find myself stuck to my living room floor covered in pine sap and tinsel.  Two squirrels were giving me the stink eye and clutching their nuts. I felt shock…

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The Most Wonderfullest Christmas Ever

December 24, 2018
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It was the mid-80s, and I was a young man on the verge (at least in my mind) of getting old. It was Christmas time, which made the passing of youth that much more painful; I…

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A sore back causes you to act disc hurteous…

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Proudly Presenting Present Presidential and Pundit Political Poetry (To Please Or Perhaps Perplex)

December 23, 2018
By

Marie Butina, a Russian lass who loves guns also happens to have a nice set of buns. So she came to America to use her bootie, to catch a live one who thought her a…

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Your Christmas Etiquette Advisor

December 23, 2018
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Fending off unwanted advances beneath the mistletoe?  Wondering whether you can re-gift that chafing dish you got for your second marriage?  Ask Ms. Christmas Etiquette Advisor–she always minds her manners! Dear Christmas Etiquette Advisor: Christmas…

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Santa Claus on the naughty list

December 22, 2018
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T’was the night before Christmas when I met my partner, Mary Darling, for our Christmas Eve shift in the City of Angels. “Merry Christmas, Darling.” The squad room’s halls were decked. “Feliz Navidad,” replied Darling,…

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Holidays; a time for family gatherings (and diplomacy)

December 21, 2018
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Holidays; a time for family gatherings (and diplomacy)

Running tests our endurance and our speed, holidays test our patience. For every family member who supports our passion, there are others who think we’re nuts. Here are some less than diplomatic comebacks for those…

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How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


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Lite Whines and Laughter: Mild Rants and Musings on the Mundane
By Lee Gaitan and HumorOutcasts Press

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It Comes From Within: Living with Bipolar Illness
By Michael Solomon. and Shorehouse Books

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