They sure don’t make plastic bags to hold tamarind bags like they used to do. I took my tamarind bag out of my plastic-grocery bag and it ripped open sending tamarind pods everywhere. Many of the pods burst open sending tamarind-pod shrapnel everywhere. If this incident isn’t indicative of the moral decline and malaise of our current society, then I don’t know what is.
On the plus side, however, the pattern of the pods and pod shrapnel provides a solid confirmation of the Big Bang Theory. A rather compact bag of tamarind bag exploded rapidly flings its contents over a much wider area, just as is hypothesized in the Big Bag. I immediately contacted NASA and as many as astrophysicists and astronomers as I could find. They all expressed gratitude and admiration for my research. Some even mentioned a possible Nobel Prize for me. I feel rather humbled by all this acclaim.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.