Paul Lander’s Tweet Wisdom – We Need a Wall Because…
Year: 2018
Kvetchathon Makes Whining an Olympic Sport
INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana. Mike Thorgrimsen is warming up for his event at the upcoming winter Olympics, but he’s not stretching out or practicing his form. Instead, he’s sitting in his hotel room, a remote control in […]
Hotter Than Hell
Climate scientists have discovered that not only is the earth heating up, but Hell is getting hotter too. As of the last four seconds, Hell has gone from 4,563°F to 5,695°F. At this heat, all […]
Freedonian Trade Surplus Soars With Wi-Fi Password Exports
DOS FLEDANS, Freedonia. Mysklek Isioan has worked at the Uboglow Pl’woznk International Airport here since graduating with a major in logistics from a local community college fifteen years ago, but he says he’s never been busier […]
HumorOutcasts Radio “I am So Sick of White Guys” by Jim Corbett and Tim Jones
How many of us need more white guys? Probably not many of us right? So here’s a podcast with three more white dudes for your listening pleasure. On behalf of HumorOutcasts Radio, I recently had […]
Handwritten Text of the Gettysburg Address Converted by Adobe’s OCR Text Recognition
Foreskin and seven years ago out Fatters brought fart ON THIS incontinent A newt nation conceived conceived (out of wedlock HA!) in luberty and deficated TO THE prostitution THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL. hOW […]
Jags Player Reneges, Says Guaranty Was Mail-In Rebate
FOXBORO, Mass. As Jalen Ramsey walked off the field following the Jacksonville Jaguars’ 24-20 loss to the New England Patriots in the AFC Championship Game yesterday, he received more than the usual amount of abuse dished out to losing players […]
