Stuffed Pionono and Black Ops

Uruguayan Entree*

STUFFED PIONONO

INGREDIENTS – PIONONO

4 eggs (2 hard boiled eggs later)
2½ tablespoons sugar (2½ tablespoons more later)
½ cup flour
2½ tablespoons sugar
⅓ cup sugar
⅛ teaspoon salt
no-stick spray

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

2 eggs, hard boiled
5 ounces ham
1 tomato
1 cup grated cheese (your favorite)
5 tablespoons mayonnaise

* = This is often made as a dessert. To do so, ladle dulce de leche over the rolled up pionono and substitute sweet ingredients for the above savory ones.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric beater
10″ x 14″ baking sheet
parchment paper
sonic obliterator

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 10 minutes.

PREPARATION – PIONONO

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Separate eggs into yolks and whites. Add yolks and 2½ tablespoons sugar to medium mixing bowl. Whip yolks with electric beater until mixture becomes creamy. Add flour. Mix with whisk until well blended.

Add egg whites, 2½ tablespoons sugar, and salt to small mixing bowl. Whip until mixture until soft peaks form. Use electric beater set on lowest level to fold egg whites into yolk/flour mixture.

Spray baking sheet with no-stick spray. Cover baking sheet with parchment paper. Spray parchment paper with no-stick spray. (This makes removing the pionono easier late on.) Gently pour in the egg yolk/egg whites/flour mix onto the parchment paper. Level mixture with spatula. Make sure mixture reaches all the sides of the baking sheet.

Bakes 400 degrees for 8 minutes or until egg mixture turns golden brown and becomes spongy and flexible.. Use edges of parchment paper to remove egg mixture from baking sheet. Keep pionono or doughy/egg mixture on parchment paper. Cool doughy egg mixture by placing it on a damp towel. Gently roll up pionono and parchment paper. Surround pionono with damp towel. Let Cool.

PREPARATION – FILLING

While pionono cools, dice hard boiled eggs, ham, and tomato. Add all filling ingredients to 3rd mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.

Gently unroll the pionono. Gently separate pionono from parchment paper. Use spatula to evenly and gently spread filling over pionono. Carefully and tightly roll up filled pionono. Carefully cut pionono into 6 pieces along its width. Serve to adoring guests. Use sonic obliterator on those who thought you weren’t gentle or careful. You don’t need such negativity in your kitchen.

TIDBITS

1) A black op is a clandestine, usually illegal, action launched by a government agency or private organization to wreak havoc on another country. These tend to be rather secretive affairs and never discussed on social media. Nope, neither before or after the operation.

2) “Pionono is an anagram for “onion op.”

3) An onion op is a clandestine, usually illegal, action launched by a government agency or private organization to wreak havoc on another nation’s cuisine.

4) Typically an onion op will do something like inserting minced onion into every aspect of a nation’s dairy supply.

5) After a successful such op, the victim country will have all its milk taste like onion. Its buttered toast will taste like onion. Ice cream will taste like onion. Malts will taste like onion. Oh this is too horrible to contemplate any further.

6) Suffice it to say, this onion op would decimate the dairy industry forever. The effects then cascade to all other industries. The nation’s economy collapses.

7) The afflicted country would be ripe for take over. All the invaders would need to say is, “Our dairy products taste like dairy products. All you need do is to get them to reply, “We accept you as our new overlords.” And that will be that.

8) This recipe uses no onions.

9) So if someone cooks you this recipe and uses onions, he is a foreign agent trying to carry out an onion op on your homeland.

10) I thought you should know.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.