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Author: E. V. Erton

E. V. Erton’s career as a writer spans blogging, books and short stories, corporate communications, journalism, plays and comedy sketches, satirical essays, and TV documentaries. Possibly the best way to trace his career path is to dip a sugared-up fly with ADHD in ink, and let the insect wander around a blank sheet of paper. Comedy has long been a passion. A book of short stories and a play about George Washington crossing the River Delaware are almost ready to attract the first rejections. He would love to get involved in another comedy production and write for The Onion. He lives in Pennsylvania with his wife, two kids, and a dog called Spike who should be named Obnoxious.

NJ Fossil Find Yields Stunning Dinosaur Extinction Theory

November 20, 2014 E. V. Erton

A dinosaur fossil site just behind a strip mall in New Jersey has baffled scientists for many years. Now a team of paleontologists claims to have solved the mystery of why so many bones are […]

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6 CommentsFictionblack friday, NJ fossil pit, prehistoric mall, shop 'til you drop, strip mall, what killed the dinosuars?

Deniers Deny Denying

November 18, 2014 E. V. Erton

The National Association of Climate Change Deniers (NACCD) has denied that non-deniers are being denied access to the organization’s annual convention. Only attendees who sign a pledge that they are deniers can register for the […]

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4 CommentsFictionglobal warming denial, national convention, say no to climate change, Texas

For Sale: Luxury Island Home In the Stars

November 13, 2014 E. V. Erton

Are you sick of other people? Itching to find a home away from it all where you can commune with the universe? You could buy an earth-bound island and live there. But the supply of […]

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2 CommentsFictionasteroid mining, Halley's Comet, island home, landing on a comet, Red Dwarf, Rosetta spacecraft

Intothecellar: A Scifi Thriller That Packs a Punch

November 11, 2014November 11, 2014 E. V. Erton

The new movie Intothecellar is a must-see yarn about a planet that is sliding into hopelessness. Times are desperate on Planet America and voters have only two escape routes: Planet Democrat and Planet Republican. Unfortunately, […]

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FictionInterstellar, scifi movie, space travel, Supreme Court, thriller

Starbucks and Walmart Plan to Open Stores on Earth-Like Planet

November 7, 2014November 7, 2014 E. V. Erton

As the number of potential store locations around the world continues to diminish, retailers Starbucks and Walmart have drawn up secret plans to expand on a recently discovered Earth-like planet. Astronomers found the planet orbiting […]

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FictionNASA, planet like Earth, space travel, Starbucks, walmart

Do You Exist? Vexed Voters Are Finding Out

November 4, 2014 E. V. Erton

When Ethel Muggeridge showed up at her local polling site in the small town of Gerrymander, Texas, today to vote in the midterms she was ignored. Ethel no longer exists. She was de-registered owing to […]

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4 CommentsFictionballot box, crazy voting laws, midterm elections, voter registration

President Obama Loses Halloween President Obama Lookalike Contest

October 31, 2014 E. V. Erton

After a close-fought contest involving more than 200 candidates, President Obama came second in the White House Halloween President Obama Lookalike Fancy Dress Ball. The winner was a Secret Service agent dressed like the President, […]

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2 CommentsFictionhalloween costumes, President Obama, Secret Service dress up, White House security

Outraged Professors Sue Colleges Over Plan to Make Them Teach

October 29, 2014 E. V. Erton

Tenured professors have accused colleges of “violating their basic human rights” by expecting them to teach students. They have initiated a law suit to prevent colleges from forcing them into the classroom. “The US constitution […]

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1 CommentFictionangry academics, classroom revolt, college teaching, student debt, University professors sue

Revenge of the Cyclepaths

October 27, 2014 E. V. Erton

If you’re a habitual walker you probably know what it’s like to be bottom of the transportation chain. At the top are the cars. Next in line are the cyclists, who run the gauntlet of […]

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2 CommentsFictionbike bells, biking, cycling phsycopaths, hiker dangers, hiking paths, pedal power, road rage, walking ways

7 Major Protocols for Spreading Ebola Terror Released

October 23, 2014 E. V. Erton

Updated guidelines for helping politicians and media outlets to maintain the outbreak of Ebola fear were released today. The existing protocols have been severely criticized for not being sufficiently frightening. All facts must be covered […]

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2 CommentsFictiondisease outbreak, Ebola gummy worms, ebola virus, politicians, protocols for fighting Ebola

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