How To Float – Steps 1 & 2.

Well my brain doesn’t understand this and that’s for sure. There’s some strange forces at work in this world and this must be magic or something. For those who want to learn how to float, […]

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If you can think of a fish pun, please let minnow.

I don’t know why I don’t like penguins but I know, I don’t like them. Our fish died and I didn’t know how to tell my girlfriend. It’s times like these, you learn to get […]

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Hurry home Jill Y. I made a salad.

I had a day off work so I decided to cook dinner. The problem with me cooking dinner is that I only know how to cook bacon. Jill Y, being a knower of this, told […]

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I’m just a jealous guy.

I know I don’t deserve to be with someone as unbelievably fantastic as Jill Y and I’m not usually the jealous type but she never stops going on about that Ryan Gosling dude. I don’t […]

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If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.

Talk about stress. We were out-of-town when Jill Y’s dog accidentally heard the so-called music of Bon Jovi. When we’re at home and this happens, we usually contact Sugartastic Daddy John and he performs an […]

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Sesame Street is a show where black magic enables puppets to co-exist with humans in an unnatural urban dystopia.

For years I’ve told people that Sesame Street is a show where black magic enables puppets to co-exist with humans in an unnatural urban dystopia but as usual, nobody wants to listen to Bill Y:

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