What Would Heathcliff Buy?
Have you ever wondered what kinds of things our favorite fictional characters would have on their shopping and to-do lists? Neither have I. Now that the subject has come up, though, we might as well […]
Tag: fiction
How NOT to Install a New Roman Shade
I won’t bore everyone with the whole story of how I ended up standing on a precariously propped-up stepladder holding a Roman shade with a tension rod stuck in it. Suffice it to say that […]
The Courtship of Prince Nigel
Prince Nigel is the Queen’s second cousin, twice removed (twice removed, forcibly, from Buckingham Palace. He now lives in Battersea). After leaving school, Prince Nigel settled into his bedsit with his collection of anoraks and […]
Hello I Love You Won’t You Tell Me Your Name?
Tomorrow I will be in love. At least that’s the plan. I will have 24 hours to succeed. Here’s how it’s going to work: 11:00 PM Tonight: I’ll be wearing my best, looking my best […]
The ID Channel: Guilty Pleasure
I watch the Investigation Discovery Channel. There. I said it. My shameful secret is out. I am an educated person. I’m supposed to be spending my TV time on PBS and other stations with edifying […]
The Daring Young Man on the Traffic Light
News stories can be a rich source of laughs. Take this one, for instance: AP Tuesday, June 28, 2011 NEW YORK (AP) — A man who climbed atop a traffic light and briefly stopped […]
Prince Nigel at Martindales
Not all royal princes had a tough time at the famous public school, Martindales. Prince Nigel, the Queen’s cousin twice removed (twice removed, that is, from Buckingham Palace; he now lives in Battersea), a little-known […]
Dearest Santa:
Dearest Santa: It has come to my attention that, because of the nature of some of the activities I have allegedly been involved in this past year, there is a real possibility that I am […]
Clown For Hire
Name: Fuckles the Clown Age: Old Type: Not so freaking happy Skills: Can pull anything out of her ass Traits: Drunk Props: Vodka bottle (filled with the real thing), instrument for her main trick (see […]
Boys Night Out
My darling girlfriend, Ginger, had gone to see her mother for the weekend leaving me alone with the dog. So, Friday night I gave my midget buddy Roger a call and asked him if he […]