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Q. Why do you look so murderous in that picture on the left? … Your fellow HumorOutcasts writers A. I always look like that. No wonder I usually get a seat on the bus. Q.…
Dear Lord, please forgive me for sucker punching my husband at the dinner table. When I asked how he spent his day off, I thought he said he’d spent hours online looking at porn shops,…
1. Don’t put your cat in charge of your inkjet toners. Cats are relatively color-blind and they can’t read numbers. If you ask her for a black toner, she’ll probably toss you a tri-color one.…
Some people say they are sick of this world, and they want to get away from it all. While many of these malcontents long to leave “civilized society” and settle in rural wooded areas…
David Pollock with his writing partner Elias Davis, has written for The Steve Allen Show, The Don Rickles Show, The Carol Burnett Show, All in the Family, M*A*S*H, Cheers, and Frasier, as well as nightclub…
Dear Lord, please give me the strength and the talent to act surprised when my husband and kids bring me breakfast in bed for Mother’s Day with a menu of extra cheese omelet, strawberry yogurt…
We were kids on our way down the street with our mother. Our car was a fossil. We could see the road beneath our feet and had to be careful not to fall through the…
I’m a Baby Boomer. My father came back from World War II and I was born very shortly after that. If you believe the statistics, many, many others followed us early postwar arrivals into the…
I have angst—serious angst. It seems in a few days a major brood of bugs will be descending upon the East Coast. When I first heard about this, I needed to find out more information…
Silliman on Sports By Stan Silliman POTATO CATCHER DITTIES Potato catcha’ A big Boise welcome, you betcha Sign my tater Give me your sig, I’d letcha “Nothing in the rule book says I can’t throw…
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