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Author: Richard Spall

Man Severely Overestimates Walking Ability, Loses Object of Affection

February 18, 2015 Richard Spall

LEITH, SCOTLAND – Local man Craig Ross recently just completed a lengthy journey of nearly 1000 miles on foot to secure the love of an area woman. Unfortunately, the man severely overestimated his walking ability […]

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1 CommentFiction500 miles, proclaimers, Scotland

Nobel Prize-Winning Physicists Giving Award to Beyonce, “Don’t Want Any Trouble, Man”

February 12, 2015February 12, 2015 Richard Spall

Recent Nobel Prize in Physics winners Isamu Akasaki, Hiroshi Amano, and Shuji Nakamura have announced that they are giving their award to Beyonce. The award was bestowed upon the men for their groundbreaking work in […]

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3 CommentsFictionBeck, Beyonce, Grammy, Kanye West

Sherman Child Born, Declares Self the “Best Baby Ever”

February 5, 2015February 5, 2015 Richard Spall

Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman and girlfriend Ashley Moss welcomed their young son Rayden into the world Thursday morning, who promptly intercepted an attempted slap to his backside, shouting, “I’m the best baby in the […]

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Fictionbaby, Rayden, Richard Sherman, Seahawks, Seattle, Super Bowl

Authorities Find Useless Ingredients on Supplement Labels Not Even in Bottles

February 3, 2015 Richard Spall

The New York State attorney general’s office announced the results of a long term investigation targeting many popular brands of herbal supplements at popular retailers. Their tests showed that the vast majority of the supplements […]

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Fiction

Jerry Jones To Enter Own Name In Dallas Cowboys Ring of Honor

January 23, 2015January 23, 2015 Richard Spall

Jerry Jones announced recently that he will soon be entering his own name in the Dallas Cowboys Ring of Honor around the team’s home field inside AT&T Stadium. This will place his name among those […]

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2 CommentsFiction, Football, SportsDallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones, Jimmy Johnson, NFL, Ring of Honor

Mangled Shark Attack Victim Comforted By Fact That Shark Attacks Are Rare

December 29, 2014December 29, 2014 Richard Spall

Surfer Jim Ross is lucky to be alive today after being attacked yesterday by a great white shark along the California coast. Airlifted to a local treatment center and reached some time after regaining consciousness, […]

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2 CommentsFictionCalifornia, Jaws, Sea Lion, shark, shark attack, surf, surfing

Santa Screws Jewish Kids On Christmas Once Again

December 25, 2014December 25, 2014 Richard Spall

Once again, for as many years as can be remembered, Santa Claus traveled the entire world in one night, spreading good cheer and leaving presents for good girls and boys, but did not deliver a […]

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3 CommentsFiction

Millions of Shelf Elves Recalled To North Pole After Shocking Report

December 22, 2014December 22, 2014 Richard Spall

Millions of elves on the shelf were recalled to the North Pole after a blistering report surfaced which uncovered a staggering number of illicit activities performed in a clandestine fashion under cover of night. According […]

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2 CommentsFictionChristmas, CPSC, elf on the shelf, North Pole, Santa

Dick Cheney Visited By Three Ghosts, Had Them Waterboarded

December 11, 2014 Richard Spall

Former Vice President Dick Cheney recently revealed that he was, at some point, visited by three ghosts. The ghosts had claimed to have some information that could help the Vice President, so as a result, […]

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1 CommentFictionCheney, christmas carol, Congress, Dick, President, report, torture

Peter Jackson to Direct Tolkien’s Fourth Grade Theme Paper in Three Epic Installments

December 3, 2014 Richard Spall

In quite a shock to the entertainment industry, Peter Jackson has announced that he will be directing the upcoming cinematic adaptation of J.R.R Tolkien’s Fourth Grade Theme Paper, “What I Want For Christmas” in three […]

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2 CommentsFiction

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