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Hillbilly Health Care

June 30, 2011
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Hillbilly Health Insurance Agent:  Gooood Mornin’,  Hillbilly Health Care Services, kin I help ya’. Bubba: Hey, I was wonderin’ how long are my kids covered under my health insurance? Hillbilly Health Insurance Agent:  Well, lookin’…

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Marriage

June 30, 2011
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Marriage is an eight letter word, kind of like homicide.

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Tweets from History–Isaac Newton

June 30, 2011
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Isaac Newton: Well, there’s a coconut tree over there, but the apple tree is a little more shady. http://wcti.us/003V

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You Are Too Good A Catholic When…

June 30, 2011
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You are too good a Catholic when: The first thing you do when you buy a skirt is measure the hemline to make sure it is only 1 ½ inches above your knee. This is…

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How well do you know your neighbor?

June 30, 2011
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How well do you know your neighbor?

How good of a neighbor are you?  Are you familiar enough with them to know for certain if they were to pack up and leave, you would know about it?   Consider those who lived…

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The Threesome

June 29, 2011
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My girlfriend was so excited to have a threesome that she forgot to kiss me on my way out before the two other guys got there.

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My Correspondence With Brad Pitt

June 29, 2011
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This is an R-rated post.   September 23rd, 2008 Dear Brad, Oh, well good for you, Brad Pitt! You’re sexy, good-looking and you are a pretty incredible actor as it turns out. I bet you…

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Words per Minute

June 29, 2011
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Words per Minute

While waiting in line for coffee at a nearby café today, I overheard a conversation between a woman and her daughter. The woman is mom age and the girl is probably thirteen or so… Girl…

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Frodo Plans a Trip

June 29, 2011
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Wednesday, September 23, 5750, Second Age, 9:43 AM From:  Middle-Earth Outfitters ernie@meo.com To:  Frodo Baggins <frodobaggins@bagend.org> Subject:  Your Order No. 2854HS90000100000032BE We are in receipt of your order.  The following items are being shipped and…

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Getting Married in Vegas – Again?

June 28, 2011
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Getting Married in Vegas – Again?

Last year, for our wedding anniversary, I convinced my husband to plan a trip to Las Vegas so we could renew our vows in the Elvis Chapel. Had I suggested renewing our vows in a…

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DVR Etiquette: The Perils of Technology

June 28, 2011
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Technology is always moving forward. However, such advancement does not come without setbacks. Roughly a century ago, the automobile was introduced and was an immediate hit. But that introduction soon gave rise to the problem…

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My First Ménage à Trois

June 28, 2011
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My First Ménage à Trois


Last weekend, my girlfriend and I got a dog. A female dog. “Bitch” is the appropriate term, if I recall correctly. We had been visiting a local shelter once or twice a week for the…

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DNA Analysis and Dog Poop: When Science Gets Ridiculous

June 28, 2011
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Thanks to TV crime dramas, even the most unscientific among us is aware of the effects of DNA testing. We use it to solve heinous crimes and to identify a child’s true parents, but now…

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Tweets from History – Joan of Arc

June 27, 2011
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Joan of Arc #haiku: I’m 86 pounds. And you need me to lead you. Desperate are we? http://wcti.us/0089

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Erica Kane, Don’t Leave Me

June 27, 2011
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Life as I know it is about to change. In fact, life as I’ve known it since high school is now on permanent tilt. How this could happen stuns, amazes and bums me out. I…

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The Axis Powers

June 27, 2011
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I got in trouble recently for criticizing a veteran.  Before you all jump on me, let me tell you what happened.  I stopped into one of my favorite sandwich shops to pay my condolences to…

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Dinner Salad

June 27, 2011
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Dinner Salad

[This is a R+ rated post as it addresses a very sensitive topic] Another installment of boyfriend/girlfriend conversations occurring at chez JB. Oui oui. This back-and-forth occurred as we were preparing a large salad for…

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Jumpstart your Summer with the Solar Bikini

June 26, 2011
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Every year, some inventor somewhere comes up with an invention that makes the world take notice. News outlets wait in line for interviews from the inventors; venture capitalists offer millions of dollars to be a…

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What Time Is Your Reality Show On?

June 26, 2011
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If you didn’t know this already, TV is inundated with reality shows, and guess what? Your show is next. That’s right, they’ve officially run out of quality programming to run, so they want you to…

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Mayor Lund’s School of Political Correctness

June 26, 2011
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The continuing saga of Mayor Lund and his Trailer Park Hello, my name is Mayor Tom Lund, I’m the Mayor for a large trailer park in western PA.   Today, as I walked through the streets…

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Driving Range

June 25, 2011
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I went to hit some balls at the driving range, but it was ladies day at the golf course, so I had to hit some vaginas instead.

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