Today I am grateful for mercy. Himself and I picked my mom up at 10:30 yesterday morning for a full day of shopping, lunch and more shopping. Save me now, I thought, knowing that I…
Did you know that it’s illegal to drive with ice and snow on your car in Pennsylvania? A small fine for not clearing your windows, but if you are found to have caused injury, or…
An election year is truly a polarizing event. Actually, it’s more like Halloween. Because people you see every day, people you usually get along with, suddenly appear before you wearing the ghastly costume of reactionary…
Finding work when you’re a petty criminal can be difficult! That’s why you need help from Dumbass Resume Writers. We help you by taking all your special talents and experience and writing a personalized cover…
I don’t always slam on my brakes, but when I do, it’s because some asshole is driving a Crown Victoria that looks like a cop car. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 6, 2014 It’s such…
Billy Joel isn’t much help to authorities. He claims he didn’t start the fire, but provides no insight as to who did. I’m pretty sure it hasn’t always been burning since the world’s…
Hey, scientists: If wizards and spells aren’t real, then explain magic markers. *scientists’ heads explode* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 25, 2014 My 3-year-old said, “Daddy, when you die, can I wear makeup?” If the…
Dear Lord, please forgive my caffeine deprived British husband for his brief lapse in judgment when he pulled over and asked an overweight South Carolina Sheriff, “Excuse me, and don’t take this the wrong way,…
Yes writers, it’s important to remember that your books do touch lives. You should take pride in that. Just think of all the people who said “I think I’ll skip working in that meat-packing plant”…
Brooklyn traffic cops are fearless. Mere death rays mean nothing to them. They will give a parking ticket to Darth Vader himself, as seen in this video: Darth Vader Haggles With Cop on Gothamist Lord…
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